


No Matter What We'll Still Keep Singin

by iamtraassshh



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Battle of the Bands, Everyone Is Gay, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtraassshh/pseuds/iamtraassshh
Summary: Great Comet but make it a high school battle of the bands AU. It's like loosely based on Lemonade Mouth
Relationships: Fyodor "Fedya" Ivanovich Dolokhov/Anatole Vasilyevich Kuragin, Marya "Mary" Nikolaevna Bolkonskaya/Natalya "Natasha" Ilyinichna Rostova, Marya Dmitryevna Akhrosimova/Elena "Hélène" Vasilyevna Kuragina, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the title is from Lemonade Mouth, shut up.

Marya groaned at the sound of her alarm clock forcing her awake. Normally she was a morning person, but recently she just seemed tired all the time. She grabbed her phone to turn off the alarm and saw a text from her friend Natasha. 

Natasha Rostova: MARYA GUESS WHAT 

Marya the Mom: What? 

Natasha Rostova: THERE’S GONNA BE A BATTLE OF THE BANDS COMPETITION HELD AT OUR SCHOOL NEXT MONTH

Marya the Mom: And? 

Natasha Rostova: AND WE HAVE TO ENTER 

Marya the Mom: I'm not sure about this Natasha. Let’s talk about this later with everyone else. See you soon. 

Marya sighed at her friend’s enthusiasm, sure a battle of the bands would be fun, but she definitely did not have enough time. She barely had time for the band that Natasha formed out of nowhere and basically forced her to be in with those puppy dog eyes that no one, not even Marya, could say no to. With school, debate team, regular band rehearsals, and a part-time job, her plate was already much too full without a competition to prepare for. Realizing she had wasted valuable time talking to Natasha, she quickly got dressed and grabbed a banana for breakfast. 

Arriving at school, Marya saw her friend and bandmate, Pierre, waiting for her. He didn’t say anything when she approached him, just handed her the cup of tea in his hand. 

“Thank you, Pierre, you’re a lifesaver,” Marya said as she gratefully took the cup. 

“You know,” Pierre said as they began to walk towards the building, “You could just sleep like a normal person.” 

“I do sleep.” 

Pierre gave her an incredulous look. 

“Well, I try. Not my fault that I have 8 million things to do every day.” 

“Speaking of,” Marya opened the door for her friend, “Has Natasha talked to you about this ‘battle of the bands’ thing she wants us to do?” 

Just as Pierre was about to respond, a voice interrupted him. 

“Battle of the bands eh? You thinking of competing? I wouldn’t waste your time, there’s no way you’re gonna win with us in there.” Anatole Kuragin said as he passed by with his reckless best friend and flirty sister, the trio always seemed to be together. 

“Now Toly,” His sister, Hélène, came up behind him and draped herself over his arm, “Don’t scare away the competition already, the more people we beat, the more satisfying the win.” 

Marya rolled her eyes, she was in no mood to deal with the Kuragins and their egos. She grabbed Pierre's arm and quickly shoved her way past them, not before looking up and locking eyes with Hélène though. That girl infuriated her, there was something in her constant glowing smile, and the mischievous glint in her eye that was ever-present that Marya absolutely loathed. Still, she couldn’t help glancing back at her over her shoulder. What she didn’t know is that Hélène had been staring at her as she walked away so when Marya turned around, they locked eyes once more and this time Hélène winked at her. Marya turned back and scoffed but could feel her face heating up. Strange. 

She glanced at her watch and, noticing that class started in exactly a minute, sprinted through the door and to her locker. 

The Kuragins and Feyda Dolokhov, their friend who came with them everywhere stayed outside with no intention of going to class. 

Dolokhov smirked, “I saw you staring at that redhead, Leyla.” 

Hélène elbowed him in the side, “Shut up.” 

Anatole rested his arm on Hélène’s head, “Aww has Laney got a crush? On Marya Dmietrievna no less.” 

Hélène shrugged his arm off and stalked off towards the school, “I don’t have to take this double team!” 

“Where are you even going,” Anatole called after her, “Class?” 

Hélène whipped around, “Maybe I am!” 

Dolokhov chuckled, “First time for everything.” 

\----&\----

Lunch was the first time that Marya, Pierre, Sonya, Mary, and Natasha were all able to meet up and talk about entering the battle of the bands competition. Since Marya and Pierre were seniors and Natasha, Mary and Sonya were all sophomores they didn’t have any classes together. 

“Okay,” Natasha said, starting the conversation as she often did, "I think we should enter the battle of the bands and based on the looks you all are giving me you disagree." 

Sonya then spoke up, "I don't think it's a bad idea, Nat, but don't you think we're a bit inexperienced? We've never really played for an audience, we just practice in Pierre's basement. We're not like, a legit band. We don't even have a name." 

"First of all Sonya," Natahsa said defensively, "You play for an audience all the time." 

This was true, Sonya had a YouTube channel where she posted covers and sometimes original songs. 

"Second of all," Natasha continued, "This can be what makes us a legit band!" Sighing at the looks of apprehension she still saw on her friend's faces she continued, "Come on guys! The winner gets a thousand dollars and a record deal! This could be our big break!" 

Marya perked up at the mention of money, a thing she was always in need of. After all, she lived alone in an apartment at 18 and could only work so many hours while attending school. She noticed Sonya beginning to look more interested as well, no surprise there, she would pretty much do whatever Natahsa asked. Mary would go with whatever was decided because she was scared people wouldn't like if her opinion differed from theirs. And Pierre wouldn't care either way, meaning that she would be the decider. 

Marya sighed, "Okay. I'm still thinking but in the meantime Sonya's right, we need a name." 

"Ooh! How about Moonlight?" 

Marya facepalmed, "Natasha. No." 

"I like it." Pierre chimed in, it was the first time he had spoken in the entire conversation and if they were being honest, the girls had forgotten he was there. 

"Welp," Marya clapped her hands, "The two of you are no longer allowed to give suggestions. Sonya, ideas?" 

"Um. Indie Cats of Moscow?" 

"Sonya. My dear sweet loving cousin. Are you fucking high?" 

"You put me on the spot." Sonya crossed her arms and huffed. 

"Okay, you're also banned from suggesting names now." Marya turned to Mary and spoke in a softer tone, a habit she developed for the timid girl, "Mary? Any ideas?" 

Mary looked up, "Oh um. I don't know. I'm not good at naming things. 

Marya nodded, "Well then. I guess it's up to me. How about Rum Attack?" 

Sonya laughed, "Marya did you sleep last night?" 

"Says the Indie Cat" 

"The Rum Cats," Mary laughed to herself, obviously not intending for anyone else to hear. 

Natasha flung her face around to face the other girl, "What was that Mary?" 

"Uh, I said 'The Rum Cats' it was just a joke though." 

Natasha smiled, that bright, radiant smile of hers that drew everyone to her, "Mary I love that! It rolls off the tongue really nicely! We have to use it, right guys?" 

Mary blushed and turned her head down, eyes on her lunch tray.

Everyone agreed and they got on with the discussion of extra rehearsals. Both Marya and Pierre privately thought the name was a bit ridiculous but they honestly didn't care enough to say something about it. 

\----&\----

Hélène was regretting her choice to actually attend school today. She, Anatole, and Dolokhov only went the required amount of days and they always went on the same ones so she could always hang out with them at lunch. She knew they couldn't be too far, after all they still had to walk to the school and hang around a bit in the morning so their parents thought they were attending and they had to walk home from the school so they could get home at the right time. So, they always hung out somewhere near the school. She considered texting them and making them come and sit with her, but that would be pathetic. Instead, she found a table with Anna, Julie, and the rest of the "popular" girls whom she fit in well enough with. 

Their conversation soon began to bore her and she glanced around the cafeteria, when a certain mane of fiery red hair caught her eye. Marya was engaged in a conversation with Natasha, a cute sophomore she knew because she was on the cheer squad with Hélène, Pierre, her horrid freshman year ex she tried not to think about, Sonya, a sophomore she sometimes heard singing in the choir room after school, and Mary, a timid girl who Hélène didn't really know but could tell was kind. 

She wondered what they were talking about, and it dawned on her that she would rather be over there talking to them, more specifically, talking to Marya. She mentally hit herself. Stop ,she said to herself, You can't be with her. Father would hear and kick you out. She probably doesn't even like you. But Hélène couldn't stop her feelings, Marya was just so pretty, and so different from anyone she usually surrounded herself with. Well it wouldn't hurt to go say hi, she thought and began to get up from the table when the bell rang, interrupting her plans. 

She got up, flashed a quick smile at the girls she had been sitting with, and quickly made her way to the back door of the cafeteria, slipping out before any teacher could notice her. She had enough of school for today. She pulled out her phone and called Dolokhov to find out where she could find him and her brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Hélène found Dolokhov and Anatole with a flask full of some type of alcohol, she wasn’t sure what, hanging around at a park near the school. 

“Really guys?” She smirked, indicating towards the flask, “There could be children here.” 

Dolokhov tossed her the flask, grinning, “It’s a school day Lena, no kiddos out today.” 

She rolled her eyes and took a swig, expecting vodka or whiskey but being met with something sweet and fruity. 

She made a face of disgust and threw the flask back to Dolokhov, “What is that shit?” 

Dolokhov shrugged, “No idea, this one was in charge of refreshments for today,” He gestured at Anatole, “And he won’t tell me what’s in it but apparently there is alcohol so.” He shrugged and took another drink. 

“I’m glad you decided to join us, dear sister,” Anatole said, slinking over to give her a kiss on the cheek, “For this man,” He pointed accusingly at Dolokhov, “Is saying that we should change our band name, please talk some sense into him.” 

Hélène raised an eyebrow in surprise, “What’s wrong with Les Charmeurs?” 

Dolokhov groaned, “The fact that neither of you can pronounce it!” 

Hélène crossed her arms, “Well fine. You come up with a band name.” 

Dolokhov looked thoughtful for a moment, “Emerald Riot?” 

Hélène froze. She wasn’t expecting to actually like the rame that he suggested. 

Anatole however scoffed, “Emerald Riot? Mon cher we aren’t some angsty punk band garage band.” 

Dolokhov sighed, “Well what do you suggest?” 

“No Rest for Women!” Anatole said with a dramatic flourish of his hand. 

Hélène and Dolokhov looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

“Hey!” Anatole said indignantly, his face growing red with embarrassment, “It’s no worse than Emerald Riot!” 

Hélène doubled over with laughter, clutching the tree she was leaned against for balance. She loved her brother dearly, but sometimes he just said the stupidest things. 

Dolokhov finally got his laughter under control, “Hélène? Got any ideas? Nothing in French, please.” 

Hélène struck a sensual pose, “Paris Strippers.” 

Dolokhov shook his head but she could see the smile in his eyes, “Oh my god you can not be serious.” 

Hélène fake pouted, “Why not Feddy?” 

Dolokhov moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Well for one none of us are strippers and none have us have even been to Paris.” 

Hélène huffed, “Rude.” 

“Okay,” Dolokhov said, “As the only one with brain cells I’m making an executive decision, we’re rebranding as Emerald Riot.” 

Anatole sighed dramatically, “You’re making a big mistake!” He pulled out his phone, probably to post about his distress over the new band name on his Snapchat story. 

While he was engrossed in that, Dolokhov turned to Hélène and spoke in a softer tone than normal, “So, that girl you winked at earlier?” 

Hélène buried her face in his shoulder, “Shut up. It’s nothing. You know how I am, flirting with everything that moves. 

Dolokhov gave her a condescending look, “Hélène. I’ve known you for 10 years, you think I can’t tell when you like someone. 

Hélène shoved away from him, “Well it’s not like it matters. Papa Kuragin has eyes everywhere.” She spat out spitefully. 

Dolokhov smiled sympathetically, he would never show it publicly but he was a sweet guy at heart and he hated hearing that his friends were hurting. “Wanna go to my house and work on some songs? Might as well put that emotion to good use.” 

“Isn’t your mom home?” 

“Nah she’s at work until 5, so we’ve got a good while, you can stay for dinner if you want.” 

Hélène smiled and a little light returned to her eyes and she said, “I’d love to.” And then, louder, “Yo! Toly! Get your head out of your ass, we’re going to Dolokhov’s!” 

Anatole flashed a smile, freakily similar to Hélène’s, and gave a thumbs-up, showing that he had heard her. 

  
  


\----&\----

After school, the newly named “Rum Cats” agreed to meet up at Pierre’s house to plan their set for battle of the bands. Natasha had signed them up after lunch and told them that there weren’t many other bands on the list. 

Marya arrived first, it might seem weird to be at someone else’s house when they weren’t there but Marya was used to it. This often happened, the girls would get a ride with Pierre, they would all stop and Marya would get a few minutes to freestyle and stress relieve on her drums. Ever since Natasha started the band a few months ago, she had moved her drumset to Pierre’s where they practiced so she didn’t have to lug everything around in her car. She missed having the drums at her apartment where she could play as much as she wanted to, provided it wasn’t the middle of the night. 

Soon, the rest of the band gathered and they started talking. Mary pointed out that they usually only did covers and would probably have to play originals for the competition. This began a short debate over who should write the songs, solved quickly by Natasha who pointed out that Sonya already wrote songs on the regular. 

Sonya, however, was hesitant, “I don’t know, Nat, my songs are mostly for me, I don’t think they’re good enough for an audience.” 

Natasha ran to her cousin, grabbed her face, and pulled it up to look at her, “Sofie! I’ve heard your songs! They’re good! Trust me, would I lie about this?” 

Sonya sighed, “No, I suppose not.” 

Natasha removed her hands from Sonya’s face and clapped them, “Yay! We can spend the rest of the afternoon looking through the songs you’ve already written and pick the ones that will work best for us!” She turned to Marya, Pierre, and Mary, “Would you all like to come over and do that?” 

Marya checked her watch, “Sorry, firecracker, I’ve got to get home to study.” 

“Oh shit,” Pierre said, “We’ve got a bio test tomorrow, I completely forgot, guess I gotta study too.” He said with an apologetic smile. 

Natasha focused on Mary and Marya swore she saw both of them blush. “What about you Mary?” 

Mary looked down and played with the cuff of her sleeve, “I don’t think father would like it if I was out too late but I think I can stay for a little while.” 

“Great!” Natasha grabbed Mary’s and Sonya’s hand and said a quick goodbye to Marya and Pierre. 

Marya sighed but smiled, her younger friend was certainly a hurricane of a person. Loud, fast, and energetic. She hugged Pierre goodbye and made her way out the garage door. The truth was she had no intention to study but she was tired and felt a headache coming on, and as much as she loved her friends she just wanted a nap and maybe some tea or food. She heard her stomach growl as she got into the car and decided on the latter. She didn’t feel like cooking anything so she began the drive to a fast food place, somewhat shamefully. 

  
  


\----&\----

“Hélène you have to sing this! It’s so emotional, right from the heart.” Anatole practically yelled, slapping a hand over his own heart and raising his other arm as if he were giving a dramatic romantic monologue. 

Hélène rolled her eyes, when they had arrived at her friend’s house she had sat down with Dolokhov’s guitar because hers was at her house, and just started singing and playing whatever came into her mind and now Anatole and Dolokhov were trying to convince her that she had created a masterpiece and simply must perform it. 

“C’mon Lena,” Anatole begged, literally begged on his knees, “We can go to The Pit in a few hours, announce it on the band’s Instagram and just test it out with a few people?” The Pit was an abandoned warehouse with amazing acoustics where Emerald Riot performed at least once a week, usually on Friday nights, their performances had sort of become famous at their high school. 

Hélène sighed, relenting, “Fine. 2 hours from now?” 

Dolokhov and Anatole shared a look, not many people would show up if they only gave 2 hours notice, however, Hélène had made up her mind about this and would not change it. 

“Wonderful!” Anatole said, “And, dear sister, would you mind being absent for a good amount of those two hours, give us some ‘guy time’ if you know what I mean?” 

Hélène rolled her eyes, “Yeah I’ll leave so you two can fuck. If you’re still at it when I get back though I’m gonna smack both of you with my purse.” She walked out of the room and got in her car, debated where to go for a moment then decided on heading to her favorite fast food place for some fries and a pop. 

When she got there, she was not expecting to nearly run into Marya Dmitrievna who was walking out. 

“Oh!” She said, stepping back a bit, “I’m sorry, are you alright?” 

Hélène tried to respond but no words came out, this was the closest she’d ever been to Marya and man was she gorgeous. 

“Do you want to come to my concert tonight?” As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them, on the surface she didn’t know why she said that but deep down she knew that the song she wrote that afternoon, the one that she was singing tonight, was written about Marya and somewhere deep inside she hoped that Marya would somehow realize this and feel the same way. 

Marya gave her a confused look, “Why?” 

Hélène took a deep breath and reassumed her flippant, confident persona she was famous for, “Oh you know, just so you can scope out the competition, and see how much better we are.” 

Marya seemed unaffected by the slight insult and nodded, “I might, when is it?” 

Hélène was taken aback, “ In 2 hours, at The Pit. See ya there, cutie.” And with that Hélène sauntered into the restaurant. The second Marya left, Hélène’s persona dropped and her face flushed with embarrassment, had she really just asked a girl to come to her concert where she was going to sing a love song she wrote about her? Had she really just called her crush cutie? God, she thought, she was going to be her own downfall. 

\----&\----

Marya couldn’t believe she was here. At the concert of 3 people she hated or at least disliked for their attitude and behavior. The scene at the restaurant was perhaps the oddest thing that had happened to her months. Hélène Kuragin ran into her at a fast-food joint, invited her to her concert, called her cutie, and walked away. She didn’t know why she was here but she knew it had something to do with that Kuragin girl, there was something about her that seemed to draw her in and push her away at the same time. It was fascinating, that girl was fascinating.

Her train of thought was interrupted by Anatole Kuragin’s voice booming over the small crowd with the help of his microphone, “Good evening my friends! Thank you all for coming out tonight, I know it was a bit of a short notice.” He shot a pointed glance at Hélène, then continued, “We have quite the treat for you all today, my wonderfully talented sister is going to sing for you. While the style is different from our normal music, the essence of love and romance is the same, please enjoy!” 

Marya glanced around her and rolled her eyes at the freshman fawning over Anatole. She turned her head to the stage as she heard the first notes of music began to play. There was soft piano melody, played by Anatole, and Hélène started singing into the mic

_ Oh, they say, that this ain’t right.  _

_ That this is some game.  _

_ One that we shouldn’t play. _

_ But it doesn’t feel that way, _

_ When you make my heart say.  _

The music picked up, Hélène began strumming the guitar, and Dolokhov came in with a drumbeat as she sang. 

_ Can we meet here by the trees?  _

_ Just you, us, and the breeze _

_ It’ll feel like  _

_ Wonderland  _

Hélène’s voice was angelic. Sultry and raspy yet sweet and gentle at the same time, Marya was enraptured by her, this was such a different Hélène than she was used to seeing. This Hélène wasn’t annoying or overly confident, this Hélène was thoughtful, broken, and kind. This Hélène was real. 

The music slowed down again 

_ In the park _

_ You’ll meet me there _

_ After dark _

_ Where you’ll stare into my eyes  _

_ And I’ll glare trying to hide  _

_ What’s really inside _

Hélène looked up as she sang the last line and Marya swore she was staring right at her. 

The song finished and the concert continued, Anatole took the mic and belted out some fun pop tune, the band said goodnight and Marya left immediately, not letting Hélène know if she came or not. She got into her car, drove home, did some homework, read a bit, drank some tea, and got ready for bed. The whole time Hélène and her song and the look she gave her while singing it never left her mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I called soda "pop" deal with it. 
> 
> Comments make my day, just saying :)


	3. Chapter 3

At school the next day, Marya wasn’t paying attention to anything her friends were saying. Instead, her eyes were on a certain Kuragin. She was at school again today, this time with Anatole and Dolokhov at their overcrowded lunch table. It didn’t matter where the trio went, flocks of underclassmen followed, hooked on their sort of ethereal beauty and guarded personality which gave them an air of mystery. Of course, Marya would never fall for that. She realized she was contradicting herself and tugged her eyes away from Hélène. 

Checking back into the conversation at her table, she realized Sonya was staring at her with a knowing look on her face. 

Putting on a face of annoyance to hide her embarrassment, Marya turned to Sonya, “What?” 

Sonya smiled impishly, “Have fun ogling Kuragin? 

Marya felt her face heat up at the call out, “I was not ogling! I was spacing out and my eyes happened to be on her.” 

Sonya gave her a look that said “that’s bullshit and we both know it” 

Sonya nudged her, “Look at Natasha, you had that exact same look in your eyes.” 

Marya followed her gaze to Natasha who was clearly staring at Mary like she was the entire world. She was even sighing longingly like something straight out of a movie. Marya was appalled. 

“I did not look like that!” 

Sonya nodded condescendingly, “Mhm. Sure.” 

Marya swatted her friend’s shoulder, “Knock it off.” 

Sonya just laughed and turned back to her lunch, leaving Marya with her thoughts. Had she really been staring at Hélène like that? If she was, what did that mean? Somewhat unconsciously she turned back around to look at Hélène. This time though, Hélène was looking back. She was staring with that same look in her eyes that she had last night at the concert, something deep and loving and sad but something that Marya couldn’t quite place. Hélène quickly looked away when she saw Marya looking back though and Marya couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the broken eye contact. She threw away her tray and walked to the bathroom, suddenly being in need of alone time. 

Pushing open the bathroom door she noticed someone else in the bathroom, “Hélène?” She was a bit surprised as she had just seen her in the lunchroom but then again she had also just been in the lunchroom.   
Hélène turned to her and she noticed the flask in her hand. She wrinkled her nose up at it which caused Hélène to giggle, “Don’t rat me out, Dmitrievna, pretty please?” 

Marya stepped towards her and yanked the flask out of her hand, “Then don’t be stupid.” 

Hélène giggled again, “No need to be rough Dmitri.” 

Marya raised an eyebrow, “Dmitri?” 

Hélène giggled again, Marya wanted to find it infuriating but it was actually quite cute, “Yup! That’s your name now. I think it suits you.” Hélène walked closer to her and tilted her head up to make eye contact, “It means devoted right? That seems like you.” 

Marya backed away from her, “And what do you know about me, Kuragin?” 

Hélène tilted her head to the side and her face assumed a coy expression, “Why you backing away Dimitri? Scared?” 

Marya honestly couldn’t tell if Hélène was tipsy or if this was just how she acted, either way, it made her uncomfortable but she couldn’t show Hélène that so she scoffed, “Of you? In your dreams, Kuragin.” 

She thought she had gained the upper hand but Hélène just laughed and moved closer once again, “Not scared of me. Scared of you. Scared of what you’ll do if you get too close.” 

“I-” Marya didn’t have a response for that, Hélène had left her speechless. She was determined to keep the remainder of her dignity so she muttered something about how she was gonna be late for class and began to walk out the door. 

“Wait!” 

Marya turned around and saw Hélène standing shyly, almost unrecognizable from the confident flirty girl Marya had been speaking with earlier. 

“Did you come to the concert last night?” 

Marya softened, “Yes I did. It was quite lovely, especially your song.” And with that, Marya left. Unbeknownst to her, she left Hélène the same way she rendered her, speechless. 

\----&\----

“Marya!” Marya looked up to see all her bandmates staring at her, apparently, she had been staring into space for the last few minutes of their practice session. Thinking about that damned Kuragin girl no doubt. 

“Get your head in the game!” Natasha snapped, normally something she wouldn’t dare do but she was worn out and upset from their several hours-long practice. 

“Hey,” Mary said softly but strongly from her keyboard, “Why don’t we take a break for a bit? We’ve been practicing all afternoon and I think we’re all starting to feel a little stressed.” 

Pierre put his base down, “Yeah I think that’s a good idea. I’ve got some snacks if anyone wants something?” 

Sonya perked up, “Do you have those peanut butter pretzel thingies?” 

Pierre smiled, “Always.”

They all slowly made their way into the house and to the living room where they sat on various pieces of furniture and pulled out their phones as Natasha had banned them from practice to minimize distractions. Pierre handed Sonya a bowl of pretzels then sat next to Marya on the couch

“So.” He said in a quiet voice so that only they could hear, “Sonya told me about you and Hélène.” 

Marya rolled her eyes and scoffed, “There’s no ‘me and Hélène’ Sonya just likes to annoy me.” 

Pierre raised an eyebrow that said he didn’t entirely believe her but wasn’t going to press the issue out loud, “Well I hope you’re right. She’s bad news.” 

Marya turned to face him, she didn’t know why but she felt sort of protective over Hélène and didn’t like to hear Pierre call her ‘bad news’, “Why do you say that?” 

Pierre sighed, “Bad choice of words. She’s not a bad person, just better not to get into a romantic relationship with her. Speaking from experience of course. Just,” He sighed again, “Heed my warning okay, don’t get involved.” 

“I don’t know why you think I would but thank you for the warning,” Marya replied. Privately she was wondering why Pierre said that, of course, she knew that their relationship didn’t end well but she didn’t think he would go so far to warn off people if he had the slightest idea they were interested in her. She couldn’t help but want to prove him wrong, prove to him that Hélène is a wonderful person to be with. She realized with a start why she felt this way. She had feelings for that Kuragin and they were definitely something more than platonic. To Marya, this was a horrible thing to realize. She thought she hated Hélène but now she knew better than most what a fine line it was between love and hate. She wondered when these feelings developed. Had they always been there? Where they born from the tender, sad looks Hélène gave her? Or the bittersweet song she had sung in that gorgeous voice of hers? Wherever these feelings came from, they needed to be squashed. She didn’t have time for something like this, much less with her competition. 

She turned to Pierre again and plastered a smile on her face, “I thought we left gossiping about Hélène Kuragin in freshman year, let’s talk about something else, yeah?” 

Pierre relaxed further into the couch, “Lets.” 

Marya laid back next to him then pointed across the room to where Natasha and Mary sitting with their heads bowed, giggling, “Look at those two, young love at it’s finest.” 

Pierre chuckled, “Good for them. They’ll help each other.” 

Pierre nudged her and pointed at Sonya who was engrossed in her phone with a lazy content smile on her face, “What about that one? Think she’s texting anyone special? Maybe that Ky girl?” 

Natasha suddenly jumped up and clapped her hands, interrupting their conversation, “Breaks over! Practice time! Rember guys, we’ve only got 3 weeks until the competition and because we’re going up against Les Charmeurs or Emerald Riot as they’re now called, we’ll need a strict practice schedule!” 

Marya rolled her eyes playfully and pulled herself up from the couch, “Okay, firecracker, but I bet those Emerald folks aren’t taking this nearly as seriously.” 

And she was right, at Emerald Riot’s practice session they were also having the same time as the Rum Cats, they had played for about 20 minutes before getting bored and breaking into the Kuragin’s liquor cabinet and drunkenly recounting their day even though they had been together for most of it. They weren’t together for the incident in the bathroom however and Anatole and Dolokhov found it quite amusing. So amusing that they were both doubled over laughing very loudly which caused Hélène to raise her voice to have her story be heard. Unfortunately, this allowed an uninvited listener to hear the story as well. The listener was Vassily Kuragin himself, who happened to come home early and also happened to be very interested in what Hélène was saying.


	4. Chapter 4

“Elena.” Came Vassily’s cold voice from around the corner, “A word, please.” 

The trio froze and exchanged a frightened gaze.  Hélène stood up, all traces of joy and laughter had vanished from her face. “Yes, papa.” 

Vassily all but yanked Hélène into the other room. “Care to explain the story you were telling?” His voice was all ice, his face was too, it would be easy to mistake him for an android. His lack of compassion for his own children would be concerning to anyone with human decency, that is if he let them see it. Vassily Kuragin had managed to perfect the image of a loving, caring father without caring about his children at all. 

Hélène looked down, her father was the only person she shrunk to, “It was nothing papa, just an altercation with a girl in a band we’re competing against in 3 weeks.” 

“An altercation? How do you mean?” 

Hélène knew exactly what he was getting at and it terrified her because he was correct, “Just trying to rile her up is all, freak out the competition.” 

Vassily nodded in a way that told Hélène he didn’t believe her, “I see. I hope our conversation didn’t upset you, I was simply making sure you don’t need to be sent back.” He said with a warning in his voice. He didn’t say where she would be sent back to but Hélène knew. 

Hélène nodded, “Yes papa.” And she walked up the stairs to her room, keeping her composure until the door was closed and she crumbled. She knew Anatole and Dolokhov would be worried when she didn’t return but she didn’t care at the moment. She didn’t particularly care about anything at the moment actually. All she felt was anger and fear. Anger at her father for trying to instill his old-school ideas into her. Fear that he would somehow discover her feelings for Marya even though she had never spoken it out loud. Fear that he would send her back. There was even anger at herself for feeling this way in the first place. She flopped onto her bed and balled her fists, she wouldn’t cry, Kuragins don’t cry. She dug her nails into the palms of her hands, the sting was easier to deal with than the mess in her head. 

There was a knock at the door. She sat up, “Come in!” She said it in the voice she used at school, the voice that said everything was fine. Anatole entered, he sat next to her on the bed and grabbed her hand. 

“Are you alright, sister?” 

Hélène rested her head heavily on his shoulder and laughed bitterly, “Oh obviously.” 

Anatole gave her a sympathetic smile but it was clear he had no idea what to say. While he also had feelings that their father disapproved of, Vassily had yet to discover this and therefore had yet to put him through the things he had put Hélène through. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Hélène shook her head. She laid back in her bed, “Where’s Feyda?” 

Anatole moved a hand to play with her hair, “He went home. Said he got a text from his mom that his sister was upset about something that happened at school.” 

Hélène smiled, “That big softy.” 

Anatole sighed contently, “Yeah.” 

“Hey.” Hélène swatted his arm, “No sighing like that in my presence, you’re supposed to be comforting me remember? You can thirst over Feyda later.” 

“I do not thirst!” 

“Sure.” 

“Hey, Anatole?” 

“Yeah?” 

Hélène sat up to face him, “Will you give me some alone time?” 

Anatole smiled, “Of course, I’ll be down the hall if you need me.” 

As soon as Anatole shut the door behind him Hélène flung herself onto the bed and clutched her pillow close to her. She loved her brother but she couldn’t break in front of him. She couldn’t break in front of anyone. 

She decided she might as well do something useful with her time and slid off the bed to grab her guitar. It was a green and white Fender Player-Jazzmaster that she had painted the word “Charmante” on in black, she loved it nearly as much as she loved Dolokhov and Anatole. She hooked it up to the amp and plugged her headphones into the amp, the music she played tonight would be only for her. Her fingers fell on the correct frets immediately, almost as if they knew what she was going to play before she did. She decided on ‘Bubblegum Bitch’ by Marina, the song always put her in a good mood and she played it quite often. This time, however, it wasn’t working. The music just sounded like noise, and it was doing nothing to calm her down. She played for a few minutes until the sound became nearly unbearable. Since the music wasn’t working, she had to figure something else out. So if sound wasn’t going to help her, the next thing she tried was silence. She made her way over to her window and slid it open. Her father wouldn’t care if she left, she wasn’t grounded or anything, but she thought the mere sight of him would wreck her again. She climbed out the window and landed on the soft grass below. She shivered and contemplated going back in for a jacket but decided she liked the chill, it reminded her she was there. She set off towards the park near the school that she and her friends often frequented while they were skipping. It would be a bit of a walk but it was the closest place she could go where she would be alone. 

**\---- &\----**

Natasha had kept them at practice for 4 more hours and after all that Marya still had to work so she was absolutely exhausted when she got home. She still had a mountain of homework to do and glancing at the clock she knew it would be a miracle if she got more than 2 hours of sleep tonight. She contemplated texting Pierre and asking for answers, her friend would be more than willing to give them to her, but she felt like that would be using him. She tried to get to work but her mind was elsewhere. 

Marya sighed, “Get out of my head Kuragin.”

Suddenly her phone buzzed, it was the band’s groupchat 

**N** **atasha Rostova: GUYS!!!**

**Natasha Rostova: WE SHOULD DO A CONCERT**

**Natasha Rostova: TO PREPARE**

**Sonya Rostova: no please**

Marya clicked her phone off, she couldn’t stand another moment of this bickering. After so many hours even her closest friends got on her nerves, especially with how tired she was. Her phone buzzed again, however, then started ringing. 

Sighing, she picked it up, “What do you want Sonya?” 

“Will you please tell Nat to knock it off with this concert crap?” 

Marya rested her head on her hand, “Tell her yourself. I’m busy.” 

Sonya backed off, “Yeah okay, sorry.” And Marya was incredibly grateful for that. Had it been Natasha, or even Pierre, who called her she would’ve been sat there for at least 30 minutes trying to resolve whatever situation they were coming to her with. But not Sonya. Dear, sweet, Sonya could always tell when someone was at their limit, even if they didn’t know it. 

Marya felt a headache coming on and wondered if perhaps a change of scenery would do her good. After all, it was a Friday night and she had all weekend to get her homework done. She slid on her jean jacket, combat boots, took her hair out of its ponytail, and walked out the door with no real idea where she was going. She turned right and walked until she realized she was approaching the school. Her apartment was relatively close to school, it was one of the reasons she picked it. She continued walking past the school until she noticed a park. The fresh cool air hit her and she felt her mood improve. She walked lazily along, enjoying nature in a slight trance until she saw a figure sitting on a bench. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Marya clamped a hand over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

Hélène turned around, a smirk on her face, “Why hello there, Dimitri.” 

She was speaking and smirking like she typically did but Marya noticed that something was off. Her eyes weren’t smiling along with the rest of her face. They looked incredibly taxed and tired, betraying the fact that a single wrong word would cause her to wilt and collapse like an unwatered flower. 

Hélène tilted her head and the last rays of sunset caught in her eyes, lighting them up and causing them to glow warmly, not that Marya noticed this. 

“Stalking me?” 

Marya scoffed, “You wish.” 

“Maybe I do.” 

They stared at each other for a moment, both trying to get a read on the other’s intentions. 

Hélène patted the space next to her, “Sit down, Dimitri.” 

Marya sat down, “You do know my name is Marya, correct?” 

Hélène smiled, in fact, she was always smiling, “Of course I do. But where’s the fun in that? Everyone should have a nickname!” 

Marya felt herself relax and smile too, “Well then, seems only right that I should give you a nickname too.” 

Hélène raised an eyebrow playfully, “What’ll it be then?” 

Marya thought for a moment, “Sunflower.”

Hélène’s smile grew wider, and it was starting to reach her eyes, “Why’s that Dimitri?” 

“Your eyes. They remind me of the middle of a sunflower.” 

Hélène’s face fell into the softest look of gratitude and admiration for but a second, then in changed in a flash. Her smile remained but her eyes had grown cold and tinged with fear. She inched slightly away from Marya on the bench. 

Marya looked over, “What? Do you not like it?” 

Hélène sighed and forced brightness into her voice, “I love it! I just remembered that I have to go though. See ya ‘round, Dimitri!” 

Marya was a bit bewildered at the whirlwind of mood changes, “Goodbye. Have a nice evening, Sunflower.” 

Hélène’s heart did a backflip in her chest at the nickname and she immediately cursed herself for it. She couldn’t let this girl do things like that to her. Yet, glancing back at Marya sitting there with her head held high, her hair blowing around her, her eyes bright and intelligent, she wasn’t sure she had that ability. 


	5. Chapter 5

Marya stayed in the park for a few hours after  Hélène left, just staring up at the sky and thinking. She wasn’t sure why she had stayed there for so long, it was rather chilly, and quite dark out. She pulled her jacket tighter around her and buttoned the top button. Her mind drifted to  Hélène, as it often did lately, and she couldn’t help but think that something seemed off with her today. She briefly wondered if it was something she had done but remembered the drained look in her eyes she had noticed the second Hélène turned to face her and knew that is wasn’t. She tried to shake these thoughts away, she shouldn’t be spending her  free time thinking about this girl. Surely she must have better things to do. Apparently, she didn’t because she couldn’t keep  Hélène out of her mind for more than a few seconds. Frustrated with this and looking for a distraction, she called Sonya. 

She picked up after one ring, “Marya? What’s up? Are you okay?” There was a hint of panic in her voice. 

Marya chuckled a bit, “Yeah I’m fine, just bored.” 

“Why’d you call then? When someone who isn’t my aunt or uncle calls me I assume they’ve been hit by a car or something you should know this.” 

“Why would I call you if I’d been hit by a car?” 

“I- Shut up.” 

“Want to come to the park?” 

“What?” Marya could practically feel Sonya’s confusion over the phone, “The park? Which park? And why?” 

Marya relaxed back against the bench, “The one by school.” 

Marya heard Sonya huff in annoyance on the other line, “Yeah okay I’ll be there soon.” 

It only took about 20 minutes for Sonya to arrive, she couldn’t drive herself but she had gotten a ride from her cousin Nikolai. She spotted Marya and walked over, a slight frown on her face. She took a seat next to her on the bench, “So how’s your girlfriend?” 

Marya bristled, “Sonya! Enough with this, Hélène and I are not romantically involved.” 

Sonya smiled a cheeky lopsided smile, “I didn’t mention Hélène at all, I just said girlfriend, you’re the one that thought of her.” 

Marya hid her redding face in her hands, “Why do you feel the need to do that to me.” 

Sonya sighed dramatically, a mirror image of her cousin, “Because I want you to be happy, dumbass.” Most would be scared to address Marya in such a tone and Sonya herself used to be but years of friendship had erased that fear. 

Marya raised an eyebrow, “Explain.” 

Sonya looked thoughtful for a moment, “Remember that Ky girl from last year?” 

Marya nodded, “Yeah she was head over heels for you.” 

Sonya blushed slightly, “Well I was ‘head over heels’ for her too. But neither one of us did anything about it and then she moved away.” 

“I see where you’re going with this, Sofia, but I do not feel that way about Hélène, and she certainly doesn’t feel that way about me.” 

Sonya flopped down against the bench theatrically, reminding Marya again of Natasha, “Maryaaaaaaa. Are you blind? She stares at you almost as much as you stare at her.” 

Marya mulled this over. She thought of that look in Hélène’s eyes during her concert, of the way her eyes seemed to linger after every conversation they had, of the talk they had in the bathroom, of all the nicknames Hélène had bestowed upon her, the look on her face after Marya had called her “sunflower.” Was that something? She honestly had no clue. She had never been in a relationship before, never really had the interest, much less the time. Though she supposed, if there was interest she could make time. Was there an interest? Helene’s eyes glowing in the sunset came into her mind and she realized with a start that there was in fact an interest. In Hélène. 

“Shit.” 

Sonya looked over, “Aww Marya finally realized what the rest of us have known for weeks.” 

Marya swatted her arm, “Shut up.” 

“So…” 

“So?” 

“What are you gonna do about it?!” Sonya exclaimed 

“I think you’ll be disappointed with the knowledge that my plan is to wait until this crush,” She cringed at the word, it made her feel like a frivolous child, “Goes away.” 

“Why do you want it to go away! This could be a really good thing, Marya.” 

“I-” Marya deflated, “I don’t know.” 

Sonya moved her hand over Marya’s, “You’re scared.” 

Marya gave her a look that said she would kill the girl in her sleep. How dare she suggest that the great and terrible dragon was scared. And how dare she be correct. 

Sonya gave Marya a soft sympathetic smile, “It’s okay to be scared, Marya, relationships are scary.” 

“I just-” Marya groaned in frustration, “I always know what to do. I’m always the one who has all the answers. And if not I can act like I know what to do. I’m not used to this, this uncertainty, this flailing around unsure of what to do like a drowning puppy.” 

“Why do you have to put that image in my head, now I’m sad.” 

Marya glared at Sonya. 

“Sorry, that was offtopic. Anyway, it’s fine to not know what to do. Most people don’t, that’s what makes life fun.” 

Marya crossed her arms, “One could argue that’s what makes life dangerous.” 

Sonya twisted her neck so her face was closer to Marya’s, “But one won’t because one realizes that her friend is only trying to help.” 

Marya chewed her lip, deep in thought, she didn’t want to admit that she needed Sonya’s help, but she also wanted to be closer to Hélène, she sucked in a breath, “Okay. Suppose I was willing to give...whatever this is a try. How would I go about doing that?” 

“You know you could just say you want help asking a girl out.” 

Marya elbowed her in the ribs, “Shut up.” 

“Fine then. I guess you don’t want my help after all.” 

Marya rolled her eyes, she knew Sonya was being difficult and drawing this out on purpose. She enjoyed watching Marya struggle. 

“Okay, little girl.”

“I’m fifteen-” 

Marya held up a hand. 

“I do want your help, what do you think I should do?” 

“Ask her out, dummy!” 

Marya huffed and her face reddened with embarrassment, “You make it sound so easy. Like there aren’t a million different variables to figure out. Where should I do it? What time should I do it? Should I dress up? What happens if she says no? Where would we even go if she said yes?” 

Sonya put a hand on Marya’s shoulder, “Woah, Marya, chill out. Just go up to her at school and ask her somewhere. As for the where…” She trailed off and bit her thumbnail, a habit of hers she did while thinking. She clapped her hands together, “I’ve got it!’ Sonya exclaimed and she seemed much more excited about Marya’s love life than Marya was, “Invite her to our concert!” 

“So we’re going through with the concert now?” Marya asked, “I thought you were very much opposed to that idea.” 

Sonya’s face fell a bit as if she had just remembered that she didn’t want to do the concert and the reasons why. But she shrugged and smiled slightly, “I can manage if this has some part in your happiness.” 

Marya felt overcome with love and gratitude for her friend, she knew how much Sonya hated and feared performing in front of an audience and while Marya thought it was foolish as Sonya was the most talented musician she had ever met, she sympathized with her anxiety and recognized how difficult it was to beat out. 

“You’d do that for me?” 

Sonya wrapped her arms around Marya’s neck, pulling her into a side hug, “Of course I would!” She drew back, “But. You have to promise me one thing.” 

Marya should have seen this coming, “And that is?” 

“I want you to ask her out on Monday.” 

Marya was alarmed, that didn’t give her a lot of time to prepare what she was going to say. But if Sonya was making an attempt at overcoming her anxiety for her, the least she could do was the same. 

She extended her hand, “It’s a deal.” 

Sonya grabbed her hand and shook it, “Indeed it is. And Marya?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can I spend the night at your house,” Sonya said sheepishly, “Nikki isn’t responding to my texts, I think he fell asleep.” 

Marya rolled her eyes but smiled softly, “Of course, dear.” 

\----&\----

On Monday, Marya was nearly shaking with nerves. She was waiting in front of the school for Hélène to arrive, as she wasn’t sure if Hélène would be attending class or not so this was the best opportunity to speak with her. Eventually, she saw Hélène and the rest of her trio approach the school and the nerves only worsened. She briefly pondered bailing but mentally hit herself for thinking like that, she and Sonya had made a deal and she intended to honor it. 

Summoning all the courage she required she started to call out, “Kura-” Then stopped and instead yelled out, “Sunflower! A word please?” 

Her voice boomed across the quad even through her nerves and Hélène turned to her and smiled. She began to walk over. 

“What’s up, Dimitri? Gotta be honest, I was not expecting you to start calling me sunflower so casually, I like it.” 

Marya took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, “Would you like to attend my band’s concert on Friday? You know, to see how badly we’ll beat you at Battle of the Bands.” 

Hélène looked a little surprised but quickly regained composure, “I’d love to, darling.” 

Marya could feel her face heat up and desperately tried to push it down in hopes that Hélène wouldn’t see. Little did she know, Hélène did see, and she thought it was adorable. 

Marya nodded curtly, “Great see you then,” She paused, debating her next words, then decided to throw caution to the wind, “It’s a date.” 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse, homophobia

Hélène was a mess. Her thoughts were zooming around in her head at a million miles a minute. Anatole was with her in her room, attempting to calm her down. 

“Lena. Look at me, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll leave with you on Friday, we’ll say we’re going to hang out with Feyda like normal, father will probably make some comment about him being trash or whatever, and he’ll never know where you’re going.” 

“It’s not that simple Tolya!” She cried out, “He got angry when he found out I had a conversation with Marya. What’s gonna happen if he finds out I’m going on a date with her!?” 

“He’s not gonna find out,” Anatole said.” 

“You don’t know that!” 

Anatole sighed, “So are you gonna just stay home?” 

Hélène looked down at her hands, “I should.” 

Anatole looked at her, “But?” 

“But-” She hesitated, “I don’t want to. I want to go. I want to be happy.” 

“So why are you letting him stop you?” 

“It-” She paused, trying to explain as best she could to Anatole, “It’s not a matter of “letting” Tolya. He always manages to fuck everything up for me.” 

“I understand-” 

She cut him off, “Do you?” She didn’t mean to snap at Anatole but her anger needed an outlet. 

Anatole stood up and said, “I suppose you need to be left alone.” Then he left, closing the door. 

Hélène buried her face in her hands. She still had no idea what to do on Friday. She desperately wanted to spend time with Marya, and she wanted, even more, to see her perform. It occurred to her that she didn’t even know what instrument Marya played. She pictured Marya with a guitar, Marya behind a drum set, Marya with a bass, even Marya with an oboe was a pleasant mental image. She shook her head vigorously as if someone could guess her thoughts even though she was alone in her room. She figured that maybe a more private date would be better. But she couldn’t stand the thought of asking Marya about it at school, too many ears always listening and eyes always lingering. She could text her about it, but she didn’t have Marya’s number and she didn’t seem like the social media type. She suddenly remembered a couple weeks back where she saw Marya in the lunchroom chatting with a bubbly freshman she recognized from cheer. Natasha right? Natasha Rostova. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she reached the girl’s, she hadn’t talked to her much but had her number thanks to the cheer squad’s groupchat. 

**Hélène: Hey Natasha, could I have a favor?**

**Natasha R: Sure!! What do you need?**

**Hélène: You’re friends with Marya right. Can I get her number?**

**Natasha R: Absolutely!**

**Hélène: Great thank you**

Hélène took a deep breath, now that she had Marya’s number she wasn’t sure how to text her. Their conversations seemed to flow so easily in person but that was because they could read each other so well **,** and over text, there was no way to know Marya’s reaction to her messages. She drafted her first message several times before deciding on something playful and just the slightest bit flirty. 

**Unknown Number: Heeey Dimitri. Guess who ;)**

**Dimitri: Hello Kuragin.**

**Hélène Kuragin: What? No Sunflower this time :(**

**Dimitri: What do you want, Hélène?**

Hélène was unsure of how to phrase her next words, maybe Marya hadn’t been serious when she said “it’s a date” maybe she was just using it as an expression. She gritted her teeth and typed a response anyway, she could do this. 

**Hélène Kuragin: You know our date on Friday? Mind if we have it somewhere more private?**

**Dimitri: Not at all, but you know it can’t be on Friday anymore.**

**Hélène** **Kuragin: Yeah ofc I do. How about tomorrow? After school.**

**Dimitri: That works.**

**Hélène Kuragin: See you then :)))))))))**

Hélène flopped back on her bed. She was less scared because they wouldn’t be in public, but she was still nervous. It was a good kind of nervousness though; less apprehension and more excitement. 

\----&\----

Marya was waiting for Hélène outside of school. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t confused by the sudden change of plans, or surprised that Hélène had called it a date. Of course, she had done the same yesterday, but she didn’t expect Hélène to actually take it seriously. She had hoped she would but wasn’t optimistic about it happening. Her thoughts were interrupted by Hélène quite literally bouncing up to her. 

Marya put her hands on her hips, “Have fun ditching all day?” 

Hélène smiled at her, “As a matter of fact, I did!” 

Marya rolled her eyes but allowed a small smile to creep onto her face, she quite enjoyed this banter she had with Hélène. 

They began walking out of the courtyard, Hélène stealing a glance at Anatole, whom she had told her plan to and asked to cover for her with their father. 

“So,” Marya said, breaking the silence, “Where do you wish to go?” 

Hélène thought for a moment, “Your place?” 

Marya smiled politely, “As you wish.” But privately she wondered why such an odd location for their first date. 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, both filled with too much nervous energy to say anything. However, the silence was comfortable and they found simply being in each other’s presence was enough. Marya could see Hélène’s hand moving towards her own and then pulling back as if she wanted to hold her hand but wasn’t sure if that was okay with Marya. At least, this was what she assumed until she moved to hold Hélène’s hand and show her that it was okay with her, and Hélène pulled hers out of the way and glanced around nervously as if someone was watching them. Marya thought this behavior was rather odd, especially coming from someone like Hélène, but elected not to mention it. 

When they reached her apartment, Marya unlocked the door and held it open for Hélène, causing the other girl to snicker, “And they say chivalry is dead.” 

Marya rolled her eyes, “One could also call it basic human decency but whatever floats your boat I guess.” 

“Well,” Hélène sauntered into the apartment as if she owned it, “Who said that wasn’t also dead?” 

Marya chuckled slightly before adopting a more serious tone, “Hélène… is everything all right? You were acting odd on the walk here and your text last night was really random and just unlike you.” 

Marya regretted bringing it up immediately as she could practically see Hélène’s walls go up along with the defensive look on her face. 

“How would you know huh? You barely know me! Don’t think it’s fair to say I’m not being myself when you don’t even know who that is.” Hélène spat out, her relaxed demeanor long gone.

This was not how she wanted today to go, Marya thought as she tried to remedy the situation as best she could, “You’re right, I’m sorry I brought anything up.” 

Hélène sat down on the couch, “No,” She sighed, “You’re right. I’m not- I’m upset. And I, god,” She lurched forward, “I don’t know what the fuck to do.” 

Marya sat next to her slowly, keeping a safe distance as one might with an injured wild animal. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked with a rare gentleness that very few even knew she was capable of. 

“I-” Hélène drew in a shaky breath, “Yes but,” She looked at Marya with tear brimmed eyes, “I need to know that I can trust you. Can I?” 

“Oh, Sunflower,” Marya took Hélène’s hands in her own, “Of course you can.” 

Hélène smiled slightly, “Well buckle up creampuff,” She laughed harshly, and there was no humor behind it, “You’re in for quite the sob story.” Hélène took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, grounding herself before launching into her self professed sob story, “You probably know of my father, Vassily Kuragin, everyone does.” 

Marya nodded, she knew he donated so much money to the school he was basically a staff member and she had heard stories (mostly from Pierre when he and Hélène were together) about how awful and invasive he could be. 

“But what everyone doesn’t know is that Papa Kuragin is extremely traditional.” Hélène continued. The emphasis she put on traditional was enough for Marya to speculate where this story was going. 

“You know, girls should tend to the home, Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve type shit. I think he might even want to put Anatole and I in arranged marriages. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m not like that at all, which would’ve been fine if he hadn’t found out.” Hélène’s grip on Marya’s hand tightened, “I was 12. And he saw me in my room, kissing my friend Diana. It wasn’t even-” She inhaled sharply, “It was completely innocent, I hadn’t even fully realized my sexuality yet. And he, he tried to fix it, to fix me.” She inched closer to Marya, desperately needing to feel safe and secure, “He tried using a number of methods, locked me up in my room with nothing but the food he would occasionally push through my door, tried b-burning me with boiling water.” Hélène was shaking violently at this point, but she would not cry, Kuragins didn’t cry. 

“Hey,” Marya said, “You don’t have to continue if you-” 

“No,” Hélène cut her off, “I need to tell someone, and you might be the only person I can trust.” She started again, “When his own methods didn’t work, he thought someone else’s might’ve. So he found the nearest conversion therapy place, because for some reason those still exist, and sent me away. I got deemed “cured” and was permitted to leave a few years ago but ever since then, I’ve kept glancing over my shoulder, analyzing my every move, trying to control my thoughts as if he could read them. That’s why I asked to have our date in private, that’s why I’ve been so weird and I’m sorry but I can’t go back there Marya, that place was awful I can’t’-” 

Marya cut Hélène off by wrapping her up in a hug, “Shh, it’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for, my sunflower, what he did wasn’t right.” She began to rub soothing patterns on Hélène’s back, “ But I’m not letting you go back there, what kind of person would I be if I did.” 

Hélène looked up and smiled sadly, “I’m afraid you must, someone has to look out for Toly, can’t let the same thing happen to him.” 

“But surely there must be some way I can do something more than-” 

“Hey,” Hélène brought a hand to Marya’s cheek, “You being here for me in enough okay?” 

Marya sighed and pulled Hélène in close again, speaking near her ear, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That rotten man will pay for what he’s done.”

“Dare to dream, Dimtri.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Marya felt positively awful. Apparently getting a little over three hours of sleep in the same amount of days was bad for your health. She couldn’t help it though. Ever since  Hélène  had told her about her father sending her away, she had been worried sick all the time. Every time she tried to sleep, her anxiety would amp up so she started working on projects and things to calm herself down. Now it was Friday and she was slogging through the day in a daze until lunch where Natasha slammed a hand in front of her face, ripping her out of it. “Marya! We need to focus! We have a big concert tonight and-” Natasha stopped her rant once she got a better look at her face, “Are you okay? You look awful.” 

Marya scoffed, “Thanks.” 

“Marya I’m serious.” Natasha looked dead in her eyes, she had a way of staring right through a person that was almost alarming. 

Marya pushed around some food on her plate, “It’s nothing, Natalya, really, I’m just tired.” 

Natasha grumbled something about how her mom was Natalya, not her, but sat back down. 

Mary, however, spoke up, “Maybe you could tell the nurse you’re not feeling well and go home to rest up?” 

“But what about-” 

Pierre put a hand on her shoulder, “I’ll get you your schoolwork don’t worry.” 

Marya sighed and looked at the insistent looks on her friends’ faces, “Fine. I’ll see the nurse after lunch.” 

Her friends shared a smile of victory and went on with another conversation. Soon, lunch was over and Marya had to keep up her promise and see the nurse.

She left the lunchroom and walked towards the office, taking a seat on the empty cot as she waited. Shortly after, the nurse walked in, “Oh hey sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 

Marya faltered for a second, she was never a good liar, she didn’t see the point in saying anything but the truth, “I uh feel sick?” 

The nurse smiled sweetly, “Oh, let me take your temperature sweetie.” She bustled around the office for a moment looking for the thermometer. Once found, she turned back to Marya, “Open wide!” 

Marya felt the cold tip of the thermometer slide under her tongue and panicked for a second at the thought that it would come out normal and she’d be exposed for trying to get out of school. To her surprise however when the nurse pulled it out her eyes widened in alarm, “Oh dear 101, you’re burning up!” She went to her desk and pulled out a slip of paper, “You’re going home, sweetheart. Got anyone I can call?” 

“I’m 18.” 

The nurse smiled sympathetically as if she understood what Marya wasn’t saying, “Okay then, you’re free to go, get some rest.” 

Marya nodded her thanks and quickly scrambled out of the room. It hadn’t really registered with her that she wasn’t skipping class, she had a legitimate note letting her out, so she speed-walked to her locker to grab her things and all but ran out the door. 

“Never pegged you as the type to skip, Dimitri.” 

Marya whirled around, “I have a note,  Hélène ” 

Hélène fake pouted, “No Sunflower today?” 

Marya rolled her eyes but was grateful that she had run into  Hélène, “Sorry. Sunflower, I’m not skipping, I have a note from the nurse.” 

Hélène’s playful demeanor was replaced with one of concern, “The nurse? Are you alright?” 

“Yes I’m fine, just a bit of a fever and I’m tired.” 

“A bit?” Hélène said incredulously. 

“Nurse said 101 I think?” 

“101!? That’s more than a bit, c’mon.” Hélène pushed open the doors and motioned for Marya to go with her, “I have the perfect remedy for this.” 

Marya followed her out, “So do I, it’s called drinking tea and watching Gentleman Jack on my couch.” 

Hélène laughed, “As cute as that image is, I think my idea is better.” She grabbed Marya’s hand and broke into a run while pulling Marya behind her. She didn’t say a word as she ran but Marya could tell they were going to the park they had talked in many nights ago. They ran past the bench and into a small forest near it. Hélène zigged through multiple paths that Marya wasn’t entirely sure were actual trails and skidded to a halt in front of a small clearing that was guarded and covered by trees 

Hélène dropped Marya’s hand and spun around, throwing her hands up as if displaying the clearing to Marya, “Here we are!” 

Marya put her hands on her hips, “So, you think a random clearing in the woods is a better idea than my nicely furnished apartment?” 

Hélène sighed dramatically, “It’s not a random clearing! It’s  _ my _ clearing. Not even Feyda and Anatole know about this. It’s special” 

Marya was struck by the act of affection but she still wasn’t going to let Hélène win, “It’s special huh? Does that mean it posses the same healing properties of modern medicine?” 

“Mar-e-uuhh” Hélène drew out her name like a whining child who wasn’t getting their way and Marya chuckled at the thought of what a younger Hélène would have been like. Of course, they’d gone to the same schools all their lives but they had never really known each other. 

Marya shook her head, “Fine, fine. Take me to your magic healing clearing in the woods, hippie.” 

Hélène squawked indiginatly, “I am not a hippie!” 

Marya laughed again and noticed that she was already beginning to feel a bit better, maybe the clearing was special, or maybe it was just Hélène. 

Hélène plopped down on the ground, patting the spot next to her for Marya to sit, “Come on!”

Marya rolled her eyes but obliged, “You’re lucky I- You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

Hélène smiled impishly, “Ha ha you think I’m cute.” 

“Sunflower we’re literally-” Marya paused, were they dating? “We’ve literally been on a date.” 

Hélène laced their fingers together, “One could argue this is our second.” 

Marya smiled softly and the two sat in peaceful silence for a moment. 

“So what now?” Marya asked. 

“Now,” Hélène took her hand away from Marya’s and laced it in her hair, gently guiding Marya’s head down to her shoulder, “You get some rest.” 

“But-” 

“Shh” Hélène placed a finger on Marya’s lips, “No buts, sleep, I know you’re tired.” 

Marya sighed and leaned further into Hélène, she was tired but every time she managed to get to sleep she would get awful stress dreams that woke her up in a cold sweat. For some reason though, she felt as though that wouldn’t happen this time, maybe it was the calming afternoon sunlight, maybe it was the colorful treetops, turning orange and red as autumn approached, or maybe it was the safety and serenity she felt being this close to Hélène. And maybe it was this comfort that lulled her to sleep. 

\----&\---- 

Marya felt a poke in the stomach wake her up, she grumbled sleepily and turned to face the culprit. Hélène smiled back and shifted so they were both in more of an upright position. 

“School’s almost over, I have to leave to make sure I get home on time but feel free to stay and sleep some more if you want,” Hélène said, standing up. 

Marya yawned and stretched her arms out over her head, “I should probably get going too, homework isn’t going to do itself. Plus I need to be awake for the concert tonight.” 

“Yeah, sorry I have to miss that,” Hélène said sadly. 

“It’s fine,” Marya reassured her, “You have your reasons.”

Hélène nodded somberly before looking back at her with a bright smile, “Text me after?” 

Marya smiled back, “Will do.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really said plot? who's she? huh

Mary paced back and forth anxiously. They opened in about half an hour and Marya still wasn’t there. She figured that she was probably somewhere with  Hélène and smiled at the thought. She wasn’t as close to Marya as her other friends but she knew that having someone to care for and love her was good for Marya. Not that her friends didn’t love her but it was a different kind of love, she mused, or at least she thought it was. She had never had the chance to experience it herself. Sighing, she glanced at Natasha who was warming up with Sonya on the stage, as well as trying to convince Sonya to sing with her. She smiled shyly watching Natasha, she was radiant and outgoing and gorgeous and all the things Mary wasn’t in her mind. She wanted so badly to be closer to that star, and her father would never catch on with his worsening mind. Mary chastised herself for finding personal benefit, this was why she should never be with Natasha. She was selfish and awful and would taint her light. Her thoughts were broken by Natasha’s voice calling her, “Mary! Come here.” 

She broke out of her trance and walked up to the cousins. 

Natasha smiled at her and she returned it, “Dearest Countess Marya Bolkonsky would you please-” 

“Technically I’m a princess.” Mary cut in softly. 

“Of course you are.” Natasha’s gaze lingered on her for but a second and Mary thought she must have imagined it. Natasha started again, “Dearest  _ Princess  _ Marya Bolkonsky would you please tell my lovely cousin that she has a gorgeous voice and not sharing it with the world should be a crime punishable by death.” 

Mary snicked, “I think death is a little extreme.” 

They were so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn’t notice Marya enter the building, Sonya did but didn’t say anything, just raised her eyebrows suggestively at Marya, earning her an eye-roll. 

Marya strolled over to her drum kit, taking a seat and tapping out a beat absentmindedly. Pierre approached her, “Where were you?” 

Marya sighed, placing her sticks down, “Taking a nap in the woods with your ex.” 

Pierre physically recoiled in surprise and Marya laughed mentally about his visceral reaction, “Hélène? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her?” 

Marya rolled her eyes in mild annoyance but felt genuine anger building, “Yes you did but I didn’t listen because your words were foolish. There’s nothing wrong with spending time with her.” 

Pierre shook his finger like a schoolteacher would at a student who gave the wrong answer, “That’s because it’s early on. Of course, it feels that way when it starts but give it time. She’ll be distant, selfish, rude, and downright belittling. Trust me.” 

Marya couldn’t stand to hear Hélène spoken about like that, they hadn’t spent much time together but they were so close that an attack on Hélène’s character felt like a personal attack on her. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she just doesn’t like you, Pierre?” She spat with more venom than she intended. 

Pierre gave her an over condescending look that she wanted to claw off his face, “She’s already getting to you see, outbursts aren’t your style. I know it’s hard to see but trust me for a bit.” 

Pierre gave another annoyingly condescending shrug of his shoulders and walked off, placing a hand on her shoulder for a second before he moved on. Marya shook her hair off her shoulder and tried to shake off Pierre’s words as well. However, they stuck with her. What did he mean, getting to her? Had she? Marya set herself straight with a firm reminder of what Hélène had told her earlier that week. She couldn’t have lied about something like that surely, and she certainly would not tell Marya had she not full trust in her. But a nagging voice in the back of her mind reminded her that everyone knew the Kuragins were deceitful and cunning. But her time around Hélène had taught her otherwise. She refocused on her drums, trying to put her trust in Hélène and not in the years of rumors and gossip. 

Sonya slid up, a smug smirk on her face, which would be unexpected from the typically sweet girl to one who didn’t know Sonya better. “So.” She said, her smirk growing, “Sleeping with a Kuragin, awfully bold Marya.” 

Marya swatted her, “Sofya Alexandrovna Rostova! How dare you-” 

Sonya laughed loudly, “What? It’s gonna happen eventually.” She leaned closer, “Right?” 

Marya shoved her away, “I-” 

“What?” Sonya crossed her arms and assumed a cocky smile, “You trying to deny that you want it?” 

“Well, I suppose-” 

Sonya clapped her hands and raised her voice, “YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST GUYS, MARYA DMITRIEVNA IS A HORNY BASTA-” 

Marya launched up from her stool and clamped a hand over her mouth, “Not. Another. Word. Sofya.” 

Marya’s harsh cold voice broke Sonya’s air of confidence and playfulness. Quickly, she transitioned back into the shy sweet girl most had come to know, “Okay Marya, I’m stopping. Sorry.” She shrugged apologetically, believing she had taken things too far, and ran off to ask Natasha if she was ready. 

“Sonya wait-” Marya said half-hardly. In reality, she was glad that Sonya had left, she had been in such a good mood earlier with Hélène and Pierre had brought that all crashing down. 

“Guys!” Natasha called from her place near the front of the stage with her microphone, “Group huddle!” She flung her arms around Sonya and Mary who were already standing with her. 

Marya got up and shuffled towards the group, electing to stand beside Mary, mostly because it was as far away from Pierre as possible. 

“Sooo.” Natasha said, smiling, “It’s our first concert! Why am I the only one excited?” She glanced around at the rest of them. Mary was looking down, fiddling with her shirt sleeve, Sonya looked absolutely petrified and was gripping a stress ball, Pierre was alternating between sending odd expectant glances in Marya’s direction and cleaning his glasses, and Marya supposed she looked tired and frustrated with her arms crossed. 

Ignoring her own question, Natasha continued, “Does anyone know someone who’s coming?” 

Mary looked up slightly, “I um invited Andrei, I’m not sure if he’s gonna make it though.”

Natasha nodded slowly. She and Andrei had their history of course, Anatole Kuragin had shattered their relationship in the previous year but the both of them agreed that they would’ve broken up anyway and that they could remain friends. Or at least friendly. Awkward Andrei feels aside, Natasha genuinely wanted him to come tonight, for Mary. Mary loved her brother dearly, and he her, little as they showed it, and Natasha knew it would mean a lot to Mary if he was there. 

“Great!” Natasha said, “We open in 5 minutes so everyone get to your places and get that energy up! Tonights gonna be fun!” And then with a pointed look at Sonya, “I promise.” 

\----&\----

Marya zoned out for most of the concert. The crowd was small and they only played a few songs, all of which she had memorized. She didn’t enjoy this aspect of the band too much, she felt music should be personal and one should have fun with it. She wasn’t having fun, she was just kind of there. Sonya certainly wasn’t having fun, she was terrified, she even flubbed a few notes, something she would never regularly do. Pierre didn’t seem to care about what was happening but at least he did seem to enjoy being with his friends a little bit. Mary kept her head down and spent the concert focusing on the music in front of her, though she did look up for a second and smiled widely when she saw Andrei standing near the front holding flowers. Natasha however was having the time of her life. She loved the applause and connecting with the audience. She finished each song with a flourish and ended the concert with a thank-you to everyone who attended. 

Marya left quickly after the concert, not bothering to check to make sure Pierre got her drums, all she wanted to do was lay on her couch and call Hélène and talk about nothing. She blushed slightly, embarrassed at the cliche they were becoming. She gave Natasha and Sonya a goodbye hug and waved to Mary who was clutching her flowers and talking to Andrei with the biggest smile Marya had ever seen from her on her face. 

Marya climbed into her car and started the engine, she was glad she had picked it up from her apartment as the venue was quite far away. The drive didn’t take long but when Marya got home she wished it had taken longer. For the sight of the papers and books on her desk reminded her that after all the fun with Hélène, after the concert, she was still a high school student and therefore she still had homework. Sighing she plopped down on her desk and tossed her phone to the side, starting her work but paused when she noticed that her phone was lit up with a notification. It was a text from Hélène. 

**Sunflower: Hey darling, hope your concert went well, wish I could’ve been there!! but i guess i’ll get to see you play next week at BotB when we crush you >;) **

Marya replied quickly but thoughtfully before returning to her work, a smile on her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrei rights you cowards.


	9. Chapter 9

Sonya groaned and let her head slam back into the pillow. Natasha had become a real taskmaster in the week leading up to the big competition and it was exhausting. Even more exhausting, perhaps, was Natasha’s tendency to dramatically lament about pretty people that happened to catch her eye. Today, as it had been for many weeks, she was lamenting about Mary. It would have been endearing but Sonya just wanted some rest. 

“Nat?” 

Natasha looked over as if she was noticing Sonya for the first time, even though they were in Sonya’s room, “Yeah?” 

“Can we talk about this later? I want to get some sleep before battle of the bands tomorrow.” 

Natasha sighed like she was in an old school Hollywood film, “Sonnnyyyaaaa you don’t understand! I’m in  _ love _ .” 

“And I’m in bed!” 

Natasha ignored her and slumped back into her beanbag, “Whatever shall I do, dear Sofya?” 

Rolling her eyes, Sonya pulled out her phone. Natasha was probably going to kill her for this but at least she’d be able to get some sleep. 

**Sonya: yo**

**mary <3: Hello**

**Sonya: how’s it going**

**mary <3: Alright. What’s up? **

**Sonya: nothin just bored**

**Sonya: o yeah**

**Sonya: nat’s in love wit u btw**

**mary <3: Clearly. **

**Sonya: ashagdshgfhjfghj**

Chuckling, Sonya turned back to Natasha, “Nat. Look.” She held up her phone with her and Mary’s conversation displayed. 

Natasha’s face fell in horror, “Sonya! Why would you-” Her sentence was cut off by the sound of her phone buzzing. She picked it up and checked it, “It’s Mary- oh god what do I say?! Shit she’s calling me-” 

“Maybe answer?” Sonya offered. 

“Oh shut up you,” Natasha grumbled but raced to her room to answer the call none the less. 

Sonya smiled in victory and stretched out on her bed, ready for a good night’s sleep. 

  
  


\----&\----

Hélène was a ball of nerves when she woke up. She wasn’t sure why exactly, she was quite confident in her and the rest of her band’s abilities and they had won competitions of this nature before. Was it Marya? But what about Marya would make her nervous was a hard question. She didn’t think she’d fail, and she wouldn’t mind if she beat them. Yet still, something was gnawing at her. She decided to just ask, it was a valid question after all. 

**Sunflower: Bon matin belle :)))**

**Dimitri: Did you use google translate for that?**

**Sunflower: Why are you so mean to me**

**Dimitri: Because you insist on speaking languages that you don’t know.**

**Sunflower: >:( **

**Sunflower: I have a question**

**Dimitri: Ask away my love.**

**Sunflower: Why are you doing BotB it doesn’t seem like something that you’d enjoy**

**Dimitri: Well college is terribly expensive.**

**Dimitri: So is rent.**

**Sunflower: Ah**

**Dmitri: What’s your reason?**

**Sunflower: Winning is fun**

**Dimitri: Then you might wanna drop out as you won’t be doing much of that.**

Hélène giggled, the playful banter in such a proper sounding sentence was just so incredibly Marya. 

“Something funny, Elena?” 

Hélène dropped her phone and snapped her head up, seeing her father standing in her doorway. She scrambled for an answer, she couldn’t say she was texting Feyda he’d demand to see, she couldn’t tell the truth as he would probably break her phone right then and there. 

“N- no papa. Just a stupid meme.” 

Vassily scoffed but didn’t press the issue, “Well I’m off to the office soon but I came by to ask about the time and place of your band’s competition.” 

Hélène froze. She most certainly did not want her father there. She had counted on being free tonight, free to be herself and play music and gaze fondly upon Marya as she performed but of course her father had to rip all that away from her. She felt tears pricking her eyes, this was not good, Kuragins didn’t cry, especially in front of other Kuragins. 

She forced herself to lightly smile, “You’ve never had an interest in the band before.” 

Vassily shifted so he was leaning against the doorframe, “Yes I will admit that I thought the whole operation quite foolish but I heard through the grapevine that there was money involved. Quite a bit actually, a thousand dollars, correct?” 

Hélène felt herself heating up with anger, she had needed that money to get her and Anatole out of this man’s grasp, and now he wanted to take it.  _ You could wipe your ass with a thousand dollars if you wanted to,  _ she thought bitterly. 

She tried to smile, “It’s in the school auditorium. At 7.” 

Vassily nodded curtly, “Don’t let me down, Elena.” he left with no other word. 

Hélène deflated as soon as he walked out of the doorway. She pulled out her phone, seeking the only person that seemed to bring her comfort anymore. 

**Sunflower: Bad news :(**

**Dimitri: What’s wrong?**

**Sunflower: Papa’s coming to BotB tonight**

**Dimitri: Oh darling.**

**Dimitri: I’m so sorry.**

**Dimitri: There’s a hidden nook in the library. Would you like to hide out there and cuddle after school until the competition?**

**Sunflower: I’d love that**

**Dimitri: Good, wish I could do more.**

**Sunflower: Baby you existing is doing more than enough**

**Dimitri: Baby?**

**Sunflower: Do you not like it :((((**

**Dimitri: You should know that I don’t.**

**Sunflower: I do**

**Sunflower: I need to actually get ready now**

**Sunflower: Goodbye baby~**

**Dimitri: No.**

Hélène chuckled and felt her spirits lift. A while ago she might have hated herself for letting one person affect her mood so much but maybe it was okay. If talking to Marya made her feel good, she should let it. Eventually, she dragged herself out of bed and into Anatole’s room for there was no doubt in her mind that he was going to make them all wear ridiculous clothes that he deemed “stage attire” for the concert. 

Anatole was still asleep when she entered the room. Picking up a wadded up shirt on the floor, she lined it up with his head and threw it with a good amount of force. 

Sputtering from the shock of being hit, Anatole woke up, “What the hell?” He said, rubbing his eyes. 

“What am I wearing for this concert?” 

Anatole perked up at that, “I was thinking that dark green dress you have? The one with the flared skirt and cape?” 

“Anatole.” Hélène deapanned, “I am not going on stage in that fucking gown.” 

Anatole laid back into his pillow, dejected, “Well then you come up with something fashion genius. It should be great fun with one member on stage dressed opposite our theme considering you don’t even know what it is.” 

“Theme? You mean green and sparkles?” 

Anatole grumbled, “Whatever go get dressed. I’m going to school late today.” 

Hélène sighed and started to walk out before stopping and turning back, “Papa’s gonna be there tonight.” 

Anatole didn’t respond but his face twisted in a mixture of anger disgust and self-pity. 

Once Hélène was back in her room she surveyed her closet, trying to decide on something hot yet functional. She chose a sparkly green tube top and paired it with black and white striped pants. She searched in the back of her closet for footwear and pulled out her old Doc Martins from middle school when she tried to dress “edgy.” She laced them up, thinking of Marya. 

Hélène’s day from then on was incredibly uneventful. She tried to pay attention in her classes but honestly, she had no idea what her teachers were rambling about half the time and she didn’t care enough to figure it out. All she wanted was for the day to end so she could see Marya and feel her arms around her again. She went through lunch in a haze, nodding along with whatever nonsense Julie was spewing and smiling occasionally at whatever sweet-sounding thing Lise had said. 

Once the final bell rang, Hélène all but lept out of her seat. Ignoring the strange looks from her classmates, she sped to the library. She didn’t exactly know what part Marya was going to, as she didn’t spend much time in the library. Luckily she didn’t have to try and find it because Marya had snuck up behind her with a small smile. 

Wordlessly, they took each other’s hand, after Hélène had glanced around to make sure no one else was in there. Marya led her through a path, seeing bookshelves she didn’t even know existed until they reached a back corner with a shoddy looking wooden door on one of the walls. Hélène gazed at her surroundings, this was more of a random drab corner rather than a cozy nook but anywhere with Marya was good enough she supposed. 

What she was not expecting was for Marya to pull out a key and open the door, revealing a small room with a loveseat, plush carpet, pillows, a blanket, and lap desks. 

Marya laughed at Hélène’s gaping expression, “What? I promised a comfy hidden nook. I deliver on my promises.” 

Hélène turned to her, “Did you do all this today?? For this?” 

Marya stepped through the door, gesturing for Hélène to follow, “Don’t flatter yourself. Pierre and I found this room sophomore year and decided to make a study space. Don’t tell anyone though, this is just for us. Mary, Natasha, and Sonya don’t even know about this.” 

Hélène nodded somewhat distractedly, though it was not lost on her that Marya had shown her a secret place she had not shown 3 of her closest friends, “Where’d you get the key?”

Marya shut the door and wrapped an arm around Hélène’s shoulders, “No no. I have to keep some of my secrets darling, otherwise, I’ll lose my air of mystery, won’t I?” 

Hélène huffed, “I won’t press it this time because you’re being nice but I’m gonna find out eventually.” 

“Sure you will,” Marya smirked. 

Hélène moved to the loveseat, patting the spot beside her. Marya sat down, immediately, Hélène curled into her, resting her head on her shoulder and letting out a sigh. 

Marya started rubbing circles on her back, “Long day, love?” 

Sighing again, Hélène buried her face in Marya’s hair, “I really don’t want my father to be here tonight. I just know he’s gonna ruin everything and he’s made it clear that he expects us to give him the money if we win.” 

Marya shook her head, “He can’t- he can’t do that.” 

“He’s our father, he’s Vassily Kuragin,” Hélène said dejectedly, “He can do whatever he wants.”

Marya tightened her arms around Hélène, “Not whatever.” She looked straight into Hélène’s eyes, “Not anymore.” 

Hélène moved her head under Marya’s and placed a hand on her chest, she knew that against Vassily those might as well have been empty words but the fact that she knew they weren’t made her feel safe nonetheless. 

Suddenly, her phone buzzed. Pulling it out of her pocket she scowled at whoever was interrupting her cuddles even before opening the message. 

**Toyla: Idk where you are but get to the auditorium now. Papa’s here.**

Hélène felt herself start to crumble, this couldn’t be happening, she was supposed to have at least 3 hours with Marya before acting like she hated her for the rest of the night. She threw her phone on the ground and shoved her face in her hands. The screen probably cracked but she didn’t care, it was just too much, she couldn’t seem him right now, not after he interrupted her time with the only good thing she’d had in years. 

She felt strong hands on her back, grounding her, “Sunflower?” Marya said, “What’s wrong?” 

She attempted to steady her breathing, “It’s papa. He’s here. And I can’t- I can’t deal with him- I needed time to- to brace myself and he’s just hear and I don’t know what to do and-” Her words were becoming quicker, more panicked. 

Marya gripped her shoulders, firmly yet gently, “Hélène shh. Breathe for me okay? Just breathe you can do this. You are strong, you can do this. I believe in you.” 

Hélène finally lifted her head, “I guess I don’t have a choice.” She said bitterly, “I’ll say I was in the bathroom or something. Can I just text you whenever I’m able? If I need a break?”

Marya nodded, “Of course.” 

Hélène turned to leave and opened the door but turned her head halfway back when she heard Marya call somewhat hesitantly, “Hélène? I love you.” 

Hélène felt tears falling down her cheeks and for once she didn’t wipe them away. 


	10. Chapter 10

Hélène ran to the bathroom, she couldn’t face her father like this. Not while her eyes were puffy and her face was red and tears were still coming down. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried, couldn’t remember the last time she felt safe enough to. She gripped the sink tightly and counted her breaths, trying to steady her breathing. While she was doing this, however, a stall door swung open. She had been in too much of a rush to check if anyone else was there and was about to leave with some amount of dignity intact when the person spoke. 

“Hélène?” 

Hélène slowly turned, seeing the bright-eyed freshman she remembered from cheer. “Hi, Natasha.” She squeaked out and winced, her voice was much hoarser than she was expecting. 

Natasha looked as if she wanted to move forward but had the sense to keep a comfortable distance, “Is everything okay?” 

Hélène weighed her options. She could either blatantly lie and say yes, though that would be betrayed by the fact that she had clearly been crying only a few seconds ago, or she could not say anything and simply leave, but knowing Natasha she would probably tell Marya and Hélène was still not ready to face her father. She sighed and settled for the truth, “No, not really.” 

To her surprise, Natasha didn’t press her with questions about what was wrong. She simply pulled a pocket-sized box of tissues and held it out to Hélène, “Here, take some. The paper towels in here are way too scratchy.” 

Hélène tentatively took the tissue box and wiped her eyes with them. 

“You should get one of them damp and dab it on. It helps.” Natasha said with a smile. 

Confused but not unwilling, Hélène wadded a few tissues up and ran them under the cool water for a second. Pressing the coolness to her eyelids did feel a bit better and she smiled gratefully at Natasha, “You’re really good at this, you know.” 

Natasha smiled shyly, which was odd, Hélène had never known the girl to do anything shyly, but to be fair most of their interaction had been at cheer practice, “Sonya gets panic attacks sometimes, I wanted to learn how to help her.” 

Hélène smiled, “That’s really sweet.” 

Natasha nodded, “So are you ready for...whatever you’re doing?” 

Hélène nodded, “Mostly, you wanna maybe come with me though?” Hélène expected her to say no, it was a strange request asking someone she barely knew to accompany her when she had yet to tell Natasha where they were going but she needed all the support she could get, and if Natasha thought the same she didn’t show it. “Sure!” She said and held the door open for Hélène. 

Hélène was glad Natasha had come with her, her energy was infectious and made her feel more confident, and she knew for a fact that Natasha could hold a conversation with anyone so hopefully, she would talk her father’s ear off and there would be no questions from him where Hélène could accidentally say something she would regret.

She rounded the corner of the hallway and there he was, Vassily Kuragin. She gulped, normally she was only scared of her father when he yelled or got violent but something about the presence of him in her school, even if he was just standing there, was petrifying. School had always felt safer than home, even if she hardly went. He didn’t have as much control here, just a school board position and a lot of money. But now that he was here, and everyone knew who he was, the atmosphere became dangerous. 

He turned from whomever he was talking with and smiled at her with false affection he had only learned from watching how other, better, parents interacted with their children, “Ah hello Elena, glad to see you’ve joined us.” 

Hélène swallowed, “Sorry papa, I was just uh, helping my friend here with some homework. She’s a freshman so just trying to be a good role model.” 

“Oh, you must be Mr. Kuragin!” Natasha exclaimed, “Pleasure to meet you, now I must ask, has Hélène told you about Marya? I know they only just got together but-” 

Natasha stopped, noticing the expressions on Vassily and Hélène’s face, “I guess not then?” 

“Elena.” Vassily’s voice was ice. “What is your friend speaking of?” 

Hélène felt herself freeze up, “Oh um uh, nothing, nothing, just nonsense, all nonsense.” 

Vassily’s eyes narrowed, “Is that so?” 

“Yes-”

Vassily held up a hand, “Quiet, Elena. I was speaking to your friend.” 

Natasha glanced at Hélène, trying to read from her face what she needed to do. Hélène tried to signal best she could for Natasha to not say anything but Vassily had never been a patient man. “Well?” 

With one last quick glance in Hélène’s direction, Natasha hastily launched into her lie, “Oh sorry, it- It’s a joke. Hélène hates Marya so we like to make fun of her by saying stuff like that, the whole “there’s a fine line between love and hate” business.” Natasha finished with an expertly innocent smile that Hélène thought was quite convincing but Vassily wasn’t done yet. 

He arched an eyebrow, “We?” He fixed his eyes on Natasha once more and Hélène couldn’t help feeling bad for her. An impromptu interrogation from her father was never fun, a fact she was all too familiar with, especially when Natasha had no idea what to say. 

She smiled again, “Just our friends.” 

Vassily glanced behind him, “Anatole, son, is this true?” 

Hélène let herself relax slightly, Anatole would always be on her side. 

“No papa, it’s not.” 

Hélène froze. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. What was he doing? 

Anatole glanced at her apologetically, “Sorry Lena but I’m not going to lie. She doesn’t hate Marya, Marya’s her girlfriend.” 

Vassily’s eyes grew dark with fury, “I see. Thank you, Anatole. Now leave us. I must speak with your sister.” 

Anatole scurried away, guiding Natasha with him, who turned around, confused. Hélène tried to smile at her, tried to say that it would be okay, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Look at me, Elena,” Vassily commanded. 

Hélène slowly turned her head and raised her eyes to meet his. 

He grabbed her arm and dragged her into a corner,  _ well at least he has the decency to murder me in private _ Hélène thought bitterly. 

“I will allow you to compete tonight,” His voice was ice, “Because I need that money.” “But you’ve proved that you still need help. I’m going to make some calls, and the second you get off that stage tonight, you’re going back.” 

Hélène felt herself crumple to the floor but felt nothing when her knees collided with the rough tile. Her mind wouldn’t think, her eyes wouldn’t register what they saw, and her ears refused to hear. All she felt in that moment was fear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when you thought you couldn't hate Anatole more-


	11. Chapter 11

“ Hélène!” 

“Hélène!” 

She felt rough warm hands on her, hooking under her armpits and gently pulling her up. Her eyes refocused and her mind came back to the present at the sensation. 

“Fedya?” 

She felt him sigh behind her, “Oh thank god. I thought you were gonna be like that forever.” He slowly turned her around, gentle as ever, far gentler than anyone would expect from someone like Fedya Dolokhov. 

He smiled sadly at her, “How we doing?” 

It all rammed into her at once. Natasha’s flippant remark, her father’s reaction, Anatole’s assurance that it was the truth. 

She flung herself into Dolokhov, gripping onto him as if she were about to be blown away by a violent tornado. 

He wrapped his arms around her and bent slightly to whisper to her, “Hey, hey shh you’re gonna be okay. We can figure this out, Lele.” 

She smiled despite herself at the old nickname from their middle school years. As if he could sense this, and he probably could, Dolokhov pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes, “Tolya told me everything, and, he really is sorry.” 

Hélène drew in a breath and nodded, she couldn’t be mad at Anatole, he was her brother. And she was sure he had his reasons even if she couldn’t fathom what they would be. 

Dolokhov placed a protective hand on her shoulder blades and guided her into the backstage area where the other bands were waiting. Natasha, Sonya, Marya, and Mary stood in a cluster while Pierre and Anatole stood near them off to the side, having their own conversation and not knowing what to do. 

Marya looked up when they entered and, upon seeing Hélène, smiled kindly at her. 

Hélène’s heart felt heavy, she loved Marya with all she was but soon they would be ripped apart. And seeing her reminded Hélène of all she would lose when she left and probably never gain again once she got back. If she got back. 

She hadn’t realized it but apparently, she’d been staring into Marya’s eyes the whole time. Dolokhov raised his eyebrows at the rest of the group and motioned for them to give the pair some privacy and ushered them out the door. 

The second they left Marya walked toward her, taking her hands and pressing their foreheads together. “Hey.” She whispered. 

Hélène sighed and felt herself relax into the touch, “Hey.” She smiled slightly. She searched fruitlessly for her next words, “Did they- do you-” 

“Natasha told me something had happened, she said you should be the one to tell me what it was.” When Marya spoke her voice was different, strained, cracking. As if she were holding back tears or a scream. She knew that whatever happened had something to do with Hélène’s father, and that could mean the worst. 

Hélène pulled away but kept their hands intertwined, “Let’s sit,” She breathed out. They each took a seat on the floor, backs pressed to the wall, Hélène leaned her head on Marya’s shoulder. 

“So you’re aware that my father came here today,” Hélène said, tracing shapes on Marya’s hand to distract herself from what she was saying. “Well. After I left the library Natasha found me...in the bathroom and so we went out to talk with him together, moral support and all that. And Natasha wasn’t aware of my father’s uh prejudice?” Hélène winced, “She mentioned something about us being together and Papa had the expected reaction. I tried to play it off and Natasha, bless her heart, created a whole story about it and I think it might’ve even worked but then, then Anatole.” Her voice became strangled on her brother’s name and it came out as more of a croak, “Anatole told him. Told him the truth.” 

Marya stiffened, her face contouring in rage, “He. Did. What.” The words came out punched, constricted, and harsh, like Marya was trying to keep a dragon’s fury under control. 

Hélène felt the change and leaned back instantly, “Please don’t be mad at him,” She pleaded, “I’m sure he had his reasons.” 

“It doesn’t matter if he had reasons Hélène!” Marya was growing heated, yet she still remained careful enough to keep the volume of her voice controlled. “He knows what your father has done to you, and he knows he would do it again. I don’t give a fuck if he had reasons!” She was on her feet now, “He knowingly hurt you, that’s not okay! He’s supposed to be your brother for fucks sake-” 

“Marya,” Hélène whispered from the floor, she was clutching her knees to her chest and honestly looked rather pathetic. 

Marya sighed and sank to the floor again, wrapping an arm around Hélène’s shoulders, she felt her nuzzle closer. “I’m sorry, sunflower.” She murmured, “But you can’t let him off the hook that easily.” 

“Yes, I can.” Hélène’s voice was small but firm, “He’s my brother and I love him.” 

Marya didn’t want to argue, she really didn’t, but she needed Hélène to see the problem, “Does he love you?” 

Hélène faltered, “I- Yes! Of course, he does…” She trailed off at the end, as if she could hear the uncertainty in her voice and was ashamed by it. 

Marya reached for Hélène’s hand again, “Sweetheart. Someone who would do that to you doesn’t love you. I’m sorry but-” 

“And do you?” 

Marya looked at her, confused, “Do I what?” 

“Love me?” 

Marya shifted so she was facing Hélène, “I do. Do you think I do?” 

Hélène brought up her tear-laden eyes to gaze into Marya’s. Marya’s eyes, so kind yet so powerful at the same time, so strong yet so full of pain, so broken but shining with love. 

Hélène nodded.

Marya breathed in deeply, assuring that her voice was calm and clear, “Notice how you weren’t as sure when I asked you about Anatole?” 

Hélène choked back a sob and forced herself to let out a harsh laugh, “Fuck you and your psych class bullshit.” 

“Didn’t you skip that class?” 

Hélène hung her head and shook it slightly, she sighed, “But still please, don’t be mad at Anatole. None of this would’ve happened if I just kept it to myself.” 

Marya didn’t need to ask what “it” was, and it stung a bit, knowing that she was a part of “it.” She brought a hand up to cup Hélène’s cheek, “Do I make you happy, sunflower?” 

Hélène looked up at her, “Of course.” 

“So,” Marya caressed Hélène’s cheek with her thumb, “Why should you have to keep something that makes you happy to yourself? Why should you have to keep it from the world?” 

“Because my happiness always seems to get me hurt.” Hélène murmured, “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, darling, and now I’m off back to the worst fucking place imaginable because I dared be happy with you.” 

Marya felt her heart rip and her eyes fill with tears, she shook it away, determined to remain strong for Hélène, “It doesn’t have to be like that anymore, sweetheart, you’re 18. You can get out.” 

“But Anatole-” 

Marya fixed her with a look. 

Hélène sighed, shakily, heavily, “He still needs me, Dimitri.” 

Marya did something she never thought she’d ever do: relent. She wanted nothing more than to pull Hélène away from there and keep her safe and not let anyone hurt her, but she had to respect her decisions, even if they hurt her, even if they were wrong. 

Hélène flicked her eyes over to Marya, “I’ll think about...an arrangement. Okay?” 

Marya grabbed her hand and smiled, “Okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How we feelin loves?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise something plot-related will happen eventually.

Marya eventually cracked the door open, only after triple checking that  Hélène was alright and ready for people. Dolokhov and Natasha immediately ran through, making it obvious that they were pressed up against the door listening in. Sonya and Mary were hunched together against a wall and, judging by the glances they were sending him, were planning Anatole’s murder. While neither of them had officially met Hélène they had both seen how much happier Marya had seemed in the past few weeks, therefore they were already very protective over her. Pierre was standing near them, looking worried and uncomfortable with the whole situation. Anatole himself was standing a few feet away from the rest of the group, looking slightly ashamed for probably the first time in his entire life. 

Hélène had risen to her feet and was being smothered by Natasha who was practically yelling a stream of “I’m sorry’s” Hélène tried to assure her that it was okay, nothing was her fault. 

Anatole shuffled in and cleared his throat, “May I have a moment with my sister?”

Marya flicked her eyes over to Hélène who nodded an answer to the silent question. Marya gave her a tight-lipped smile and ushered the others out. 

Anatole stepped closer and sighed, “I guess I should explain myself.” He breathed deeply, “A few weeks ago, papa almost caught Feyda and I cuddling, and I don’t know, I just needed him off my case about it.” 

“And this was the only way you could do that?” 

Anatole looked up to stare Hélène in her eyes, and he saw the anger that resided in them. He had never been on the receiving end of this anger, she had been upset with him before but he could sense that this time was different. And if he was being honest, the look in her eyes reminded him of their father. 

He sighed, “You still playing tonight?” 

Hélène arched an eyebrow at him, “Yes.” She said coldly. 

Anatole nodded curtly and smiled at her before making some excuse about needing to do vocal warm-ups and walked off. 

Hélène sighed and rubbed her temples. 

“You know you don’t need to forgive him right?” 

Hélène glanced over, Dolokhov was leaning against the door frame, probably where he’d been for a while. 

“He’s my brother, and I love him.” She fixed a glare at him. 

“So? You can still admit he’s a jackass.” He pushed himself off the frame and walked closer, “If anyone else did this to you, you’d ruin them. Why is he different?” 

“He- He’s my brother!” She cried, throwing her hands out. 

“And?” Dolokhov prompted gently. He knew the Kuragin’s better than anyone, and he knew there was something that kept them so close. However, even he had yet to find out what that was. 

Hélène sighed and wrung her hands, “He supposed to be the good one. Mama’s gone, Papa’s horrid, Ippolyte’s uncaring, and Anatole’s good. 

Dolokhov moved closer and threaded a hand in her hair, “Lena…” 

Hélène leaned into him, “If I don’t have him...what do I have?” 

“Welll, you have your ginger.” 

Hélène rolled her eyes and chuckled. 

Dolokhov started to sway them, it was something that always comforted both of them when they were “Hey, I’m serious, dude. She really cares about you. You’re always gonna have her.” 

Hélène pulled back and smiled at him, “Glad she has your approval mister.” 

Dolokhov pulled a fake tough face, “Well as your resident big brother I might want to speak with this young lady before-” 

Hélène laughed, “Fedya oh my god-” 

By this time the rest of the group trickled in, save for Anatole, and were standing awkwardly at the door, unsure if they were interrupting something or not. 

Pierre cleared his throat, “Uhm. The first band goes on in 10.” 

Hélène turned around, “Shit- we haven’t even checked the performance times yet.” 

Pierre fiddled with his fingers, unsure what to do when Hélène was speaking civilly with him, “Well uh we haven’t either but the winner from last year’s contest usually goes first.” 

There was a collective cry of “There was a contest last year?!?” From most of the group. 

Marya clapped her hands and everyone quieted, she smiled, catching Hélène’s eye, “How about we go check the list and find out who we’re up against.” 

Hélène slid up to Marya, linking their arms, “Splendid idea.” 

They left the corner they had been occupying for most of the night and meandered to the hallway outside of the auditorium, looking up at the list taped to the wall. 

“Huh.” Natasha said, “There are only two other bands besides us? I thought there’d be more.” 

Sonya moved to get a closer look, “These names are weird. 12:20? Why’d they name a band after a time?” 

Mary craned her neck slightly, her height giving the advantage of seeing over Sonya and Natasha’s heads, “Fox’s Chaos? What kind of band name is that-” 

A sigh from behind made them all turn around. 

A tired and annoyed girl was standing there with a gaggle of people giggling about something that sounded like “Sundays” and pushing each other behind her. 

“I’m Fox and,” She gestured behind her, “These dumb fucks are the chaos.” 

Marya nodded slowly, “...Well then. Good luck.” 

The girl just sighed at them again and herded the rest of her band through the double doors to the auditorium. 

“Well no wonder they’re last year’s winner,” Mary mumbled, “Their band is huge.” 

Hélène glanced around, “Speaking of band size...where’s Anatole? He should be back by now.” 

Sonya and Natasha exchanged a mischievous glance, both trying and failing to stifle their laughter. Marya knew she should probably say something to them, but she had deduced that they had done something to Anatole so she kept her mouth shut. 

Hélène turned to them, “What did you two do?” 

Natasha and Sonya glanced at each other and erupted into fits of giggles, both gasping words out but neither making sense. 

“They locked him in a closet.” Mary said timidly, a touch of amusement in her voice, “Let the record show I tried to stop them.” 

Hélène gaped at them, “You. Locked. My. Brother. In. A. Closet.” 

Dolokhov burst out laughing, “I know we haven’t spoken before, but I love your energy.” 

Hélène elbowed him in the ribs, “Shut up you leaky trash bag. We can’t go one without a lead singer.” 

Everyone fell silent, as much as they all disliked Anatole, the couldn’t deny he was talented. And his good looks and charming nature could easily draw in the crowd. That combined with his incredible stage presence made him a force to be reckoned with and easily put Emerald Riot a step above the competition. 

Dolokhov shrugged, “You can just do it, Hélène. You already sing in most of our concerts.” 

Marya nodded, remembering the concert of theirs she went to all those weeks ago. Hélène’s voice was angelic, and that was what she thought when she claimed to despise her. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to hear her sing after spending all this time with her and falling in love with everything she was. “You could definitely do it, Hélène” 

Dolokhov threw his hands up in triumph, “Your ginger agrees with me! I knew I liked her for a reason.” 

Hélène glanced at her, smiling shyly as if she was asking “really?” Marya nodded, returning the smile. Hélène turned back to Dolokhov and grabbed his hand, “Fuck Anatole. Let’s do this,  frère.” 

Dolokhov swung their hands up, “I’ll drink to that!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fox, I'm sorry for the torment, enjoy the mention.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's suspend our disbelief for this one shall we

Hélène and Dolokhov were on first, putting a lot of time between them and The Rum Cats as each band got to perform 3 songs each. This worked out very well for Marya who had recently come up with an idea, which was odd given her typical aversion to spontaneity. 

The bands were grouped together in the hallway leading to the stage entrance when Marya grabbed Sonya and pulled her aside

“Sonya,” She whispered, “How long do you think it would take you to write a song if you already had lyrics?” 

“Um.” Sonya looked away, slightly intimidated by the closeness and eye contact, “Not very long? Why do you ask?” 

Marya sighed and glanced around making sure no one was listening, “Well I have song lyrics, and I want to perform it tonight but I need music.” 

A smirk was starting to form on Sonya’s face, “And what’s the vibe of these lyrics?” 

Marya gritted her teeth, “Romantic.” She mumbled. 

“What was that?” Sonya asked cheekily. 

“Romantic,” Marya said slightly louder, and she cursed her face for growing red. 

“Perfect,” Sonya grinned, “Follow me.” She said, grabbing Marya’s hand and pulling her towards an empty stairwell, hefting her guitar over her shoulder. 

Normally Marya would never do something as risky and last minute as this, however, something about Hélène made her want to take every risk possible if it would make her happy. Marya also remembered months ago when Hélène had sung at her concert and it almost seemed as though she was singing to her, and Marya wanted Hélène to get that same euphoria she experienced when Hélène glanced up and caught her eye and for a moment she felt as though they were the only two people in the world. She did feel slightly guilty about missing Hélène’s performance but hopefully, if everything went right, Hélène wouldn’t care one bit. 

Marya handed Sonya the sheet of paper she had written her lyrics on and wrung her hands nervously. She then cursed herself for doing so, it wasn’t like her to get this nervous, she was used to being sure of everything. She was also not used to being this vulnerable, with anyone. But there were some things she needed to say, and some things Hélène needed to hear. So, Marya decided the best way to do this was through music. Maybe it was Natasha getting to her, the girl always rambled about how one should sing when things became too much to say. She glanced over to Sonya who looked entranced with her words, a good sign, she presumed. 

After a few more moments of silence, Sonya looked up, her eyes watery, “Marya...this is so sweet.” She flung her arms around the other girl, “Oh my dear dear tinman,” She muttered, “You do have a heart!” 

“Alright.” Marya sighed, “Enough,” She shoved a giggling Sonya off her shoulder. “So. How long do you think it’s gonna take you to compose something for this?” 

“Oh not long at all!” Sonya exclaimed, “In fact, I already have a melody in mind!” 

Marya smiled slightly, it was nice to see Sonya in her element, while she had certainly become more outspoken and sarcastic in the past year it was still rare to see the girl genuinely this bubbly and excited. 

Marya sat back in silence as Sonya explained what she was going to do because honestly, Marya had no clue about the music composition aspect of songwriting, she didn’t know much about songwriting at all. This was the first piece she had written and starting felt awkward and she had about 7 drafts she tore up before she even got to the first chorus. 

Time crawled by in the stairwell, with Sonya scrawling things in her notebook and plucking strings on her guitar and Marya sitting quietly, anxiously checking her phone every few minutes for the time. She assumed Sonya had informed Natasha of the situation because while checking her phone this time she noticed a text from the girl. 

**Natasha Rostova: OMG MARYA!!! YOU WROTE A SONG FOR** **HELENE?? THAT’S SO ROMANTIC!!!! DON’T FORGET WE’RE ON SOON THOUGH**

**Marya the Mom: Soon? How soon is soon, Natasha?**

**Natasha Rostova: Likeeeeee 15 minutes**

**Marya the Mom: 15 minutes??? Where are you and the rest of the band? We’ll meet you there in 5.**

**Natasha Rostova: We’re in the backstage soundproofed area about to start warming up**

**Marya the Mom: Gotcha, see you.**

Marya nudged Sonya’s shoulder, “How close to you are finishing up? The others are about to start warming up.” 

Sonya smiled back, not taking her eyes off her notebook, “Perfect timing! I just finished. Unless you want to include the rest of the band in this song, then I’d need a lot longer-” 

Marya shook her head, “No I think it’d sound best with just the guitar part. Makes it seem more...raw.” 

Sonya nodded, “Agreed. Welp. Let’s get going.” She placed her guitar in its case and shoved her notebook in her pocket and she and Marya made their way over to the rest of their band. 

  
  


\----&\----

Hélène bounced with excitement, Marya was on next and she was itching to see her girlfriend perform. She felt as though her and Fedya’s set had gone well, though some fans were disappointed when Anatole didn’t show up and she saw Vassily standing near the door with a disapproving look on his face, she managed to block everything out and focus on the music. One thing that threw her off the slightest bit was the fact that she couldn’t see Marya in the crowd but she assumed she was there and eventually pushed that back too. 

There was a sudden roar from the crowd as the band began to make their way on stage, and a great deal of chuckling when the announcer introduced them as “The Rum Cats.” 

The first song was a power ballad type thing that Hélène has never heard before and Natasha sounded amazing on it, but all of Hélène’s attention was on Marya. Given the type of song, the drum part wasn’t very heavy or complex but Hélène was still mesmerized by the image of Marya with her eyes closed and her head flung back, apparently having the time of her life as she played. The next song had a more pop-rock beat and Marya kicked up the intensity, the whole band did. Natasha was jumping around while she sang, Sonya had started to show off by twirling her guitar around, and even Mary and Pierre started swaying to the beat with big smiles on all of their faces. The song seemed to fly by and suddenly Marya was standing up and making her way to the front of the stage. 

Dolokhov bent over and whispered in Hélène’s ear. “I think your ginger’s about to sing.” He smirked at the smile that was covering Hélène’s face but felt a warmth blossom in his heart, he was truly glad Hélène had someone that made her this happy, he had missed that smile. 

Hélène noted the look of nervousness on Marya’s face and the way she kept her eyes on the ground, she couldn’t help but hope that this meant the song she was about to sing was something special. 

She watched Marya nod to Sonya, who had switched her electric guitar out for an acoustic, and take a deep breath. Then she began to sing: 

_ How can I begin to describe,  _

_ The things I’ve been feeling inside  _

_ Cause before I knew you, _

_ My feelings were lies  _

Hélène’s jaw dropped and she felt tears prick her eyes, Marya’s voice was the most wonderful thing she had ever heard. That combined with the way she knew instantly that the song was about her made her heart melt. 

Marya continued with Sonya beginning to harmonize. 

_ But now we’re under the trees _

_ Our hair in the breeze _

_ Just you and me  _

_ And those sunflower eyes _

_ Just you and your  _

_ Sunflower eyes  _

_ No more disguise, just smiling eyes  _

Hélène audibly gasped, earning weird looks from those around her but she barely registered them. Dolokhov grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

_ And I swear _

_ No one will ever take _

_ The light from those eyes _

_ As long as I’m here  _

_ As long as your mine _

Marya lifted her head for the first time and gazed out at the crowd, locking eyes with Hélène for a second and smiling before looking back down. She sang the next lines in such a soft voice that Hélène didn’t even know she was capable of. 

_ And I’m so glad  _

_ You ripped the disguise  _

_ And gazed into me _

_ With those  _

_ Sunflower eyes _

Marya looked up again, her eyes landing on Hélène and staying there, keeping eye contact as she sang the final lines 

_ Because I love you and your  _

_ Sunflower eyes _

The crowd screamed with applause but Hélène remained frozen until Dolokhov shoved her down the aisle. She couldn’t fathom that Marya had written that for her, that she had felt that for her, and sang it in front of the entire school and other families and friends. 

Dolokhov ushered Hélène backstage where the rest of the bands were waiting for the judges to determine the results and Hélène snapped back into reality when she saw Marya approaching. 

Marya stopped in front of her, “Hey,” She smiled shyly, “Sorry for missing your set, I had to get Sonya to write the music for the last song and I know I should’ve done that earlier but-” 

Hélène cut her off by flinging her arms around her neck and pulling her into a deep kiss. She pulled back after a moment but rested her forehead on Marya’s, “I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd that's a wrap on this story! Would yall like an epilogue?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day, just saying :D


End file.
